A quiet weekend amidst a flurry of activity that has come to characterize these first couple of weeks of uni life. As I sit here shrouded by darkness, illuminated only by the dim glow of my laptop's LCD screen and the backlit keyboard in front of me, I still can't quie believe that this is really happening. So much material to study and cover before going to class each day, as I struggle to get the rusted cogs in my head moving, and on the not-quite periphery of school life; hall activities, friends and such, though I bring my laptop into camp hall every week I barely have the time to touch it, much less give its keyboard my customary loving caress.

Yesterday's lab practical was intriguing to say the least; another kind of electrophoresis, spectrophotometry as well as microscopic analysis of blood, our own blood, obtained via a tiny pinprick of the finger "Let me lance you" sounds quite wrong, doesn't it? Morning practical followed by an afternoon of mugging, eyes turned towards my iPad, frantically attempting to digest a series of lectures on metabolism (see what I did there? :P), Metabolic Pathways I & II, Oxidative Phosphorylation etc, material not exactly foreign to the A level curriculum but much more in-depth, and with the additional expectation that we should cover within a day - we're allocated 4 hours of prep time to be precise - what we'd take a couple of weeks to cover in RJ. Studying from 3pm-2am, till I got light-headed, and sleep, when I eventually allowed myself a respite, was fitful and disturbed with images of carbon compounds, biochemical intermediates, catalytic enzymes and the various pathways swimming before me, to be woken up and off for today's lessons, a mental wringing throughout the day bifurcated by an hour long lunch break. Mentally drained, sleep deprived, but I have to admit TBL (team based learning) is a very interesting way to learn, though there are some inherent flaws which I won't elaborate on here. And it's been amazing to finally and actually learn again, new input, new stimulus, more food for thought. The spirit craves, and dies when it finds wanting.

A good weekend, a meetup with dear and treasured friends, some distance, paths diverged and traveled, it's a sobering thought to recall that in the very near and immediate future we may all be scattered across the world, each pursuing our individual dreams. I want to remember the times we've had together, memories shared, walking down Orchard Road, huddled around in some bar, not talking much, but simply being, stupid things done together, and remain hopeful of the times we'll have together in the future as well. Foolish sentimentality? Perhaps, but maybe I want to be the one left in the room after the party's over and the lights go on, the one there to clean up the mess and tidy the place up, keep the lights on, for the next time. Why not?

A Sunday spent, I must admit, not in the most productive way possible, Monday's mugging frenzy was admittedly at least in part self-afflicted, discipline is something I'll have to enforce, if I want to have much of a semblance of a life in uni. The workload and timetabling is ridiculous compared to other courses, which is obviously to be expected, but I don't believe that I won't be able to make something out of it with the appropriate management, choices, choices, choices.

How could I forget, a Thursday, significant in it's symbolism,  a White Coat Ceremony in which we received the symbols of the profession. I know not how this tradition began, and tbh I'll admit that perhaps I was not entirely invested with the significance of the whole thing, but it is a significant milestone in our/my medical career; though I'm doing my best not to put the chariot before the horse and get too far ahead of myself. A start, after all too long a trip that began when I decided, on an impulse to submit an application to YLL 2 years back, the subsequent rejection, and the rollercoaster ride which was my application in the subsequent year. Now it begins.

Speaking of choices, a decision I found myself making that Thursday evening:  A decision between having my virgin clubbing experience (which is probably a damn pathetic way to put it) with my OG mates at Jash and completing the next day's lectures and ensuring I had sufficient rest before an early morning trip over to the Mandalay campus in Novena for a full day's worth of TBL. A decision possibly simplified as work vs play, and I went with work. Any regrets? Possibly, cause by all accounts those who went for it had a lot of fun, and that day's TBL didn't turn out to be particularly meaty, but still a more "responsible" decision (which has all kinds of connotations, different ones to different people) to make, influenced perhaps because I didn't think it too appropriate to go for it right after the WCC hehe.  Well anyway I don't doubt that I'll face many more such or even more significant conflicts of priorities and decisions I'll have to make, be it simply work vs play or something else, all I hope is that I'll be able to choose wisely, while still maintaining that all so crucial balance that's necessary to have an enjoyable and fulfilling time.

C'est tout.

I realize I may have been pretty lenient with frequent temporal skips and hopping back and forth along the timeline, but I've been, as always, typing as things come to me, and it does, to me at least, seem to form a narrative of sorts, so I'm leaving it as it is. It may be that when I eventually revisit this during my more idle/introspective moments, that it'll make absolutely no sense to the "me" then at all, but that's simply a risk I'll have to take~

An ennui i have no conceivable right to, let's just get this on shall we?

Once bitten twice shy, reactive creatures we are, fearful of getting hurt will we hurt in return?

As always balance is key.

Channeling past into future, the twin headed eagle soars, I'd do well to learn by example, the follies of years past carried away by events running around like a headless chicken, do not give what you cannot receive.

Are we to be doomed to commit the same mistakes, over and over, spiral to eternity, different times same fates, or may there be hope yet? Only time may tell. Even then, what does it matter, but blips on the grand scale of cosmic events.

But while a grain may know not upon what shore it's washed upon, all that it may know, are what other grains may rest around it; a relative certainty, and that'll haveto do. For now.

Time for that long overdue post in this time between wakefulness and sleep, though over the past few weeks my circadian rhythm has become messed up beyond recognition.

Alone would probably be a reasonable word to characterize these weeks, alone yet not quite lonely. The days seem to pass in a blur at times, perhaps because I've not been maximizing the use of my time, but that's well-trodden ground by now, something I'll avoid. I've been spending much of the time on my computer, trawling the Internet for je ne sais quoi, casting out into the wide abyss hoping for some resonance and feedback, perhaps, but emptiness can only beget emptiness, no? How ironic that amidst its depths I find nothing for myself, except those same few sites, over and over again.

Collisions with the outside world are intermittent, and not at all unwelcome, I've been to the gym and gone swimming with Mos, Merv joined us for dinner 2 Fridays past, conversations that've brought me out of my own head, the benefits of solitude aside I truly appreciate having sounding-boards for the most ridiculous or irrelevant of ideas, for casual conversation, the frank sharing of concerns, worries and sometimes dreams, does it speak more about me perhaps that I don't find this easy to do with many other people, despite attempts to be open and earnest with the people I come across? Sometimes I find the banality with which I resort to on many an occasion frankly appalling.

That said, it's been good to get to know meet my coursemates, to begin the process of matching names to faces, and to really start to get to know them beyond the most trivial exchange of particulars and information that seems to preface any meeting; a necessary step no doubt, but one that I find particularly onerous (don't we all?). It's a common courtesy I guess, and a foundation to embark upon further conversation, though to be honest I'm not all too sure sometimes whether we're just asking for the sake of asking, and whether all this is forgotten at first parting. Others more socially adept than myself would probably be able to tell you who is from what JC, what CCA they were from etc but unfortunately such facts usually elude me without further reinforcement, which I'm making a conscious effort to rectify. Yes, Yen San, I remember that you live at Telok Blangah, though there's probably no chance of you seeing this xP

My coursemates seem like a pretty varied bunch of people, I think they're alright on a whole, perhaps there are a few who'd give Jack a run for his money, I haven't been able to tell much more from the few times we've met. The spectrum of schools and ages is pretty varied as well, the spread of JCs seems much more level than what I've been led to believe is the case with *cough*NUS*cough* though the gender ratio is horribly skewed, 8 guys : 2 girls if I'm doing my math right xP strangely enough there seem to be a lot more of us second-time applicants (AKA NUS rejects lol) than first-time ones, and that's about it in terms of demographics. First meeting was for lunch at eighteen chefs at Tiong Bahru (really good value for money, customization in terms of the dish you order etc, definitely worth going to again), second time a visit to NUS' anatomy museum, courtesy of a NUS M2's invitation, he actually told/led the supervisor to believe that we were the incoming batch of M1s to give us a tour around (oops) and offered to help us with anything we needed, questions we had, and apparently they'd offered to organize an orientation for us, which our Profs refused, a really kind gesture, though I can understand why our Profs did what they did. It was really cool to observe the preserved specimens on display in the museum, dissected and laid out to highlight the respective structures and organs, it could possibly be viewed as grotesque by some I guess, but it was obvious that it's all for educational purposes with all due respect, so nothing wrong with it from my POV. NUS students also have further anatomy hall sessions where they go into this theatre and organs from real cadavers are literally laid before them in carts and they're supposed to poke and feel around to further reinforce their learning, so it's probably imperative to quickly get over the ick factor. Something that was really impressed upon me though was the breadth and depth of what I'll have to study and be expected to be familiar with as a medical student as well as a practicing doctor in the future. It's not that I didn't have any prior expectations about it, but it really reinforced the fact that I'll have to put much work into this over the next few years and probably the rest of my life, it's a little daunting, but a challenge that I'm up for :P

The next meeting (do pardon my awkward paragraphing) was a self-organized IntroDOCtion (hurhur) held at the function room of Gabriel's condo, it's one of those ridiculously huge East Coast condo complexes, so pretty impressive stuff. And this, of course, was right after the signing of the Medical Undergraduate Agreement last Saturday, which started off with me bleary-eyed and headed to the Police Centre around 6 in the morning (note my screwed up body clock, it felt like 3 am when my mum woke me T.T) with my parents to submit an official change of address request which I'd been procrastinating on, and suddenly necessitated by the signing later that day, before heading to Yishun to collect my new spectacles, which my brother insists are totally hideous (urgh) before going to the HPB for the bond signing. The crux of the agreement basically being tying myself to serve the government for 5 years, failing which my sureties (my parents) would have to pay $500k for me to break the bond; no way that's happening lol. I managed to link up with some NTU peeps while over there and secured a ride from someone's mom (the CEO of SH and wife of the DeM no less, speak about white horses) over to the condo. Minor awkward moment when I was trying to help close the car boot, a little hesitantly because I was afraid of slamming it, only to have her open it fully once more and reach up to a button which made it close automatically. Oops. It was pretty vanilla after that, so was the meetup, around 30+ of us were there, it was more like an opportunity to mingle, familiarize a little etc before school really starts, pretty enjoyable nonetheless.

Lastly, which was yesterday, I went down with some of them to a talk held for prospective applicants at the Mandalay Campus at Novena, meet someone before that. Note to self: Never suggest to a girl to have lunch at Popeyes and other such places, quite hard to have conversation while stuffing your face with fried chicken, it probably doesn't do for a great first impression (I kid, it wasn't that bad, I hope). We got to speak to some of the faculty there, as well as horror of horrors, help to speak to some of the students present, answer some questions etc, basically to help sell the school. It was an interesting experience to put myself on the other side of the applications process for once hehe. Speaking to the profs really helped to ramp up my excitement about the start of school, the programme and pedagogy really does sound engaging, it's something that's never been done to that great an extent in Singapore; they've made full use of this opportunity to tailor the entire curriculum around it, so I absolutely can't wait for school to start. Sure, it may be more demanding, but it actually sounds fun, not just boring lectures that you sleep through most of the time or don't even have to turn up for, it's more interaction based, and structured to reinforce learning, I fervently hope we realize its potential.

Ok, I've rambled enough about school etc and I've got no wish to bore you so I'll end it here. Now, time for sleep to claim me, and perhaps I'll have dreams of sneaking among rooftops, and leaping upon unsuspecting prey, finishing them off as they turn to dust in my arms, I've been playing a fair bit of Dishonoured afterall. Great game (Y)

What Are Words

Guess I've got no time to be dithering over the value of words when I've got a personal statement to construct/put together/fabricate. Thinking about it now though, I'm probably a lot more direct in my thinking than I ever was back in school. Or maybe not hehe. My brain works in pretty odd ways. I spend ages thinking about the right thing to say, then in the end decide that it's way too generic and mainstream and end up saying something else instead, stuffing the proverbial foot in my mouth. And it's not even the right foot! This self-sabotage really has to stop, eh?

But seriously, what are words? Cause I just can't resist. It's the time of the night when words flow freely yet mean nothing at all, which is why I'm refraining from working on it till the dawn of the cruel light of day. Night, that's a time to sort through jumbled thoughts and emotions, rearranging them in different ways, that may or may not be noticeably organized.

Much like anyone else, excepting those certifiable vegetables, and many non-certified ones out there, many thoughts course through my head throughout the day, some which I wish to convey, some which I don't. For lack of a better means, this unenviable task falls upon the ever so ubiquitous words, which more often than not, I find horribly limited. Set aside the irony that it's those self-same words which I'm employing right now. There's no other choice, you see. I think in words, holding those long internal dialogues (or is a better term monologues? I wouldn't want to imply that I'm suffering from split personalities, which Wiki kindly informs me is known as Dissociative Identity Disorder, DID for short) which spiral on and on, downwards or upwards nobody knows. Sometimes I wonder privately, a far-more-than-lingering suspicion that this mental framework of words severely limits my mental capabilities. If by force of habit I think in words, is the speed of my thoughts only as fast as these words can be selected and put together into a semblance of rationality? If I can only process things in words, is my ability to understand new stimuli and input limited by the words with which I have at hand to describe and ascribe certain characteristics to? And if these words, in their recalcitrance, refuse to come to me, and I find myself not only speechless but completely and utterly flabbergasted (now that's a word I've been wanting to use) am I then completely hapless? I apologize if the above paragraph sounds more than a little insane, it's been brewing for awhile now, and what started off as a seemingly perfectly good idea to be developed on has now grown out of hand, and yet I, as it's originator, much like how Frankenstein probably couldn't bear to get rid of his monster till it had offed a couple of people, just can't bear to euthanize it.

Very often I have difficulty expressing myself (in dark moments I wonder if maybe it's because I'm devoid of anything to express) the thoughts too heavy for words to bear. Yet words are such easy things to give and receive in so many forms, what then are they truly worth? Far be it from me to disregard words from the heart, but it's honestly so hard sometimes. Strange then that despite questioning their worth, that I could be hurt so by just a couple of words, flippantly delivered. When the message sent differs from that which is received, should that be considered the greatest travesty or a blessing, well disguised?

Then there are those moments so pure words simply do them no justice, that in the mere retelling they are inexplicably diminished; these I recall with nostalgia, joy tinged with regret, for come again in self-same form they won't, rewind the clock I can't, and even memories don't last forever. I remember a time almost two years back, day spent head buried in words and more words, the minutes timelessly passing by, and afterwards, making the trip home. The air cool, traffic light, a detour gladly taken. The fog lifts and words depart on the stroll home, passing by the set of bars and deciding on a whim to pull myself up, towards that gap between the foliage overhead and the full moon peeking through, up and down, over and over, each attempt to reach out and grasp it giddily fulfilling but ultimately unsuccessful. As I near home, the neighbor's dog barks; I shush it as I pass, step through the gate, and the moment is over. Of passing out in September, that charge down the street, all of us, wordless growls emanating from our throats, so fresh to the chevrons, pride, achievement, all that didn't really matter, just the immediacy of release. Moments I now recall as a pile of snapshots, and yet the words come in, as they invariably do. I don't really know how to describe this, but think of it this way: When you name something, does the object describe the name, or the name the object? It may be the former, initially, but as memory fills up, all that's left are words, words ascribed yet which aren't a perfect fit, can't be a perfect fit, and something crucial is irrevocably lost. Best then that these moments be given the varnish of time and held at arm's length. Look too closely and you may not like what you see. Best also, as we humans are creatures of time. We can't live simultaneously in past, present and future, though some would like to think otherwise, and onwards we must go.

I'm tired, and till now no closer to answering or even exploring the question. There's probably never to be an answer, and I suppose I've revealed enough mental instability for one day, or possibly a lifetime, you never know. I could end of with a list of things words are, which is basically a whole bunch of contradictions, and at another time, I guess I would have, but enough with the coulds and mays and whatnot, I simply will end, in the laziest and most basal of ways; in eponymous rhetoric:

What are words? Thank you.

It was a pretty sedate if not quite sedated Saturday COS in not-so-sunny Gedong, I was initially under the impression that I'd finally be able to overturn that sleep deficit of mine but apparently waking at 5am for flag raising (in an otherwise empty battalion) thinks otherwise.

The week started off interestingly enough, a semi-important presentation to some visiting general with loads of crabs and a couple of stars floating around to grace the occasion and 3 chocolate bars ferrying them around, imagine! Yet I somehow got the impression that they didn't really care how well we presented. Though the foreign one did pepper us with a few questions, it was probably more out of polite curiosity than anything else, and I got a strong vibe that it really didn't matter to our side at all so long as there were no major complaints. Oh well.

The rest is only noteworthy for how unremarkable it was. Greasing the rack pins on our bridges is a tedious task; involving degreasing each of 748 pins (try saying that number out in Chinese lol) by way of vigorous twisting and wiping them individually with newspaper before going over it all again with a fresh coat of grease. We did that for 3 bridges on Wed, and what I found remarkably unremarkable was that amidst the twist, pull, degrease and repeat, twist, pull and repeat, barely a thought crossed my mind. I seriously found myself thinking about why I wasn't thinking about anything, till that thought itself was shoved to the back of my head beneath the mindless repetition. It's not like I'm new to repetition, shooting made sure of that, yet it's as if there's zero stimulus in the work I'm doing, or it's so totally mindlessly absorbing that I'm unable to wander whilst doing it, besides occasionally cursing under my breath as I wipe my sweat with my sleeve or knee, hands too dirty you see. I'm honestly quite scared whenever I stop to evaluate, if you will, the extent that my mind has degenerated over the past months.

Well anyway, time to type something random. I've been thinking (oh the irony given what I just typed above) and I suppose a lot of grief and frustration we have is due to our expectations, and more specifically, due to a mismatch between these expectations and reality. I've got loads of section mates complaining that they don't feel like they're being treated as sergeants; that we don't enjoy the privileges which they feel we deserve. Though I obviously wouldn't balk at greater privileges, I don't think things are that bad, I mean, what more do you want to ask for? Expectations that arise from a misplaced sense of entitlement are obviously begging to be disappointed. I guess not having had had a true taste of reality, and constantly being rewarded for most of the things we've been doing in much of our early life, we've come to expect alot; be it recognition, material recompensation etc for effort towards anything we do, and this results in a faulty or truly unrealistic gauge of the proportion of effort:reward. I haven't quite come to terms with it myself and occasionally find myself wondering why the world isn't bending over backwards to kiss the ground at my feet for every little thing I do, every little pearl of wisdom that spills from my mouth. Cause that's obviously the way the world's supposed to work, right? Obviously that's only one way to look at it. In such cases it's imperative to relook our mindset to adjust our expectations accordingly and be less delusional about things. But what about when expectations aren't overly high; when reality simply fails to meet expectations where it should. It would obviously be a travesty to resign oneself to the reality of things; who'd change things (for better or worse) otherwise? Like most things there's probably a happy medium between delusional and cynical resignation for each of us, and what I'm trying to say is that it's very important to learn to choose your battles. Sometimes when you give up you might be right that you're wrong, that's better than being wrong that you're right, but if you're passionate about it maybe it doesn't matter either way.

More than a little presumptuous I'm aware, and probably an overly simplistic treatment but that's the "best" I can muster for now.

Bleh off to sleep now. Just found out that tomorrow morning's convoy was cancelled so I retracted my am off for nothing. I really do hope we win today's match though :/

So maybe I've had a little too much to drink at Yifan's birthday celebration. Vodka is freaking awesome. Initially left a warm burning sensation down my throat, but subsequent cups downed with ice left a refreshingly cool yet warm buzz all over :D (I just might be a happy drunk; there's still hope!) Had a pretty good time there too, and I'm horribly impressed by how hospitable he was, cooking some awesome Chinese food himself and in general the way he handled the whole thing. I really enjoyed the opportunity to catch up with some old friends as well. Always good to hear things from a different perspective; a fresh breath of air and all that.

Ah nevermind, there's nothing much to say, really. It's saddening, this dearth of meaning. Kinda makes me want to do something, anything, for an infusion into my life. In fact, I'm probably checking into IMH next Sat, which isn't as bad as I'm intentionally making it sound, of course, and I'll have to get myself up to speed with regards to uni apps and all that nonsense. It's horrible having to deal with these things at the very moment when I find myself bereft of motivation, a little depressed, maybe, and having to deal with the last few weeks of life as a specialist cadet. Life in camp is really routine, can be a little frustrating, and is ultimately consuming. It doesn't allow much time for distraction, and demands much of the attention and energy I have to give, precluding extraneous thoughts and leaving me not much spirit at the end of the week, or even at the end of a day at work, during my rest hours to focus towards the more "significant" endeavors. My brain refuses to work properly, which doesn't exactly help either :/

Guess I can no longer wait for life to "move on", bogged down as it is by this mess that is NS. Instead, I've gotta take the initiative and make things happen, not simply allow them to happen to me, eh?

I've come to realize that time and awkwardness do nothing to come between an earnest and sincere relationship (most generic term possible). If you genuinely want me to be/remain part of your life, and make it possible, that's where I'll be. And I'll make room for you as well. Pretty simple, when laid out like that. I want to put in the effort to do so, and not let people who I really enjoyed spending time with become mere "corridor friends" inhabiting the halls of memory.

That's how I'll remember you,
Eyes intent on the screen, almost eerie blue glow cast upon your face.
That's how I'll remember you.

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I don't seem to feel much these days. The exuberance of POP could hardly last me through the day, not to mention the week. The prevailing emotions during my interviews early this week, besides the desire to prove myself, were ones of exasperation and irksomeness brought out by a certain line of questioning. And yet they weren't that intense as well, and faded soon after. Ditto for the disappointment of reality not meeting expectations, later on. I believe that somehow, that unofficial army ethos of "Suck Thumb" has pervaded my thinking, in a decidedly unhealthy manner. While it may be beneficial not to get too hung up over happenings, one cannot simply resign oneself to them, and even allow them to escalate and develop further. I can't/shouldn't have let myself think that there was no point arguing further, or that there was no point forcing the issue, that I should just let things be. I don't want to be such a dispassionate individual.

Just when I think I'm unbelievably cynical, something happens to make me realize how facepalmingly naive I can be at times. It's extraordinary, really haha. I really need to school myself more in the metagame of society.

Had quite abit of fun yesterday though (since I'm feeling pedantic about it) playing badminton with some of my sectionmates at CCK Sports Complex. I'm really not the sporty kind (no shit, Sherlock) but enjoy playing them; which is quite tragic I guess, but having fun is what matters, right? xP Had to run around ALOT to attempt to get to the shuttlecock for a return, and I'm still pretty much unable to return smashes, but it's very satisfying to win a point after a particularly hardfought rally; the fact that it didn't do much to mitigate the point difference notwithstanding. Well anyway, we checked our postings at the same time as well:

Your Posting Order is listed below:
1.	You are posted to	SCS & SWAS
2.	Your vocation is	INF LDR(TRAINEE)
3.	Your are to report to:	Pasir Laba Camp, Blk 276, #02-15
	Reporting Date/Time:	17/04/2012 at 0800 - 0830 hrs
	Person to report to:	Chief Clerk
	Contact Number:	64105597/5594/5533

Was kinda expecting the posting so I'm neither elated nor disappointed. BMTC has given me some pretty good learning experiences and some tough times as well, but as always, the veneer of memory smooths over those bumpy portions very effectively. I'm looking forward to learning new stuff there! And not having to be subjected to an effective 1 month confinement is pretty comforting as well!

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And lastly, I think I've adjusted pretty well to my new house. Horrendous amounts of boxes yet to be unpacked aside, I'm relatively comfortable here. For some reason unbeknownst to me, my other siblings simply love to flock to my room, whether it's because they desire to revel in the presence of your's truly (if only other people felt the same way xP) or just because they don't want to climb the extra flight of stairs, I'll never know. But it's led to the common and honestly ridiculous situation where I find myself having to settle on the parquet floor (which isn't too uncomfortable); either that or having to poke and shove to create a sufficiently large space in the tangle of bodies for myself to slip barge my way into. Travel to and from the MRT station is simple enough; a short bus ride away, and the bus stop isn't as far from my front gate as I'd originally imagined. The Yio Chu Kang/Ang Mo Kio area is much more central, which has made travel less onerous I'd say; something I appreciate following this week's outings.

My com's been bugging me to allow it to install some updates, so I shall end here for today.

Had another phail episode but I shan't post it here :P It's become something of a running gag in my family, though, that's for sure.

Somehow I feel I believe most in the feelings that you find present in yourself after a good few hours of sleep. They seem the most genuine to me haha. There's barely any time for the machinations of the conscious mind to take hold; and they're the products of hours of the subconscious' processing. The mind is fresh, alert and uninhibited. Recently I've started trusting them enough to act on them; at least in that wondrous window of minutes before reality really starts to sink in.

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We passed by some secondhand book sale earlier on. I was kinda reminded of the voracity with which I would dig into books just a few years back. Can't help feeling a little sad that I haven't done that in a long time now; though I think it may partially be cause I've outgrown the genre. (I used to be a huge fantasy buff; loved - and still love - Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time epic series, David Eddings, Terry Brooks, Terry Pratchett; who's got to be my favorite for his satirical take of the genre and so many others) It's a pity though that after so long the plots have blessed together for me; and their respective intricacies are now lost to me; and I really don't have the luxury of going through them once again! Must be almost a hundred (or more) to go through; which I just don't have the time for.. Perhaps that's what retirement's for; though I things go as I think they will, I don't think I'll be retiring anytime in the forseeable future; if at all!

The Descendant seemed pretty flat to me; though perhaps I'm being too reductionistic in critiquing it *shrugs*

Haven't been arsed to write for a long time; but I kinda realised that after enlisting, I won't be able to write as much, so I'd better seize the opportunity while it's there. I won't bother to be chronologically precise since that's way too troublesome.

So I went down to SGH; or more accurately, the National Heart Centre there pretty recently to look for my uncle (he's a cardiologist) at my father's insistence for a quick checkup as a precaution before enlisting. Had an echo-cardiogram done. Basically the idea is to use ultrasound to image the heart, so it was really amazing as I could see my heart beating in realtime. It was quite cool to see its actual structure; the bicuspid mitral valve, the tricuspid aortic valve, the atria, ventricles, septum etc versus having seen them in those notes we had to mug for the Biomed symposium. The best part was being able to hear the continuous pounding that sounded kinda wishy-washy-ish while watching the contractions and relaxations and think "Wow, that's my heart there" haha. The thought that it's working (and will be working) independently, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, idk how many weeks a year, etc to keep me alive is quite inspiring in a way. I sometimes wonder whether I have the strength to go on living; but the beat of my heart gives me no doubt about that. Little abnormality that my uncle noticed though was that my coronary arteries seem to be a little dilated (around 1mm more than average for Singaporeans?); apparently they shouldn't be so well-defined on an echo-cardiogram. A little worrying, but I don't think I'll be doing anything to change my PES at this stage.

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CNY, supposed to be a time for joyous reunion (and it was) yet I'm starting to realize that the overwhelming logistics: packaging of ang paos, gifts for the relatives we visit, even making a "schedule" of sorts.... could outweigh the celebratory mood. Had a much more toned down CNY this year; we're pretty much done with all the visiting after the second day (and the "harvest" has been far less bountiful, not that it matters much); but it was no less enjoyable. Quality time with family is nothing to be scoffed at. A slight undertone of sadness though; unavoidable what with things the way they are.

We went to take a look at the new house once more. I kinda like how my room's turning out; though I admittedly won't be spending much time there for at least the next couple of months. We'll have to repaint the house anyway, since alot of hacking of the walls had to be done for the electrical rewiring, so I'm currently toying with some possible colour schemes in my head. Don't really feel like sticking to boring old off-white/beige this time round. Any suggestions? xP

So much to do before enlisting...I really should start packing seriously; though I've made some headway into that by binding my JC Bio notes for easier storage (and to hopefully deter hopeful homeless spiders!). It's such a headache and a little heartaching as well to decide what to throw away and what to bring over. My mum's already discarded my primary school and kindergarten stuff  ><  Lost memories! Stuff that I'll probably never look through, true, but it still hurts nonetheless. (The ironic bit is that she's still keeping her secondary school/uni stuff, which is ancient) I've also got to get around to scanning those documents for NUS...anyone has a scanner available? :/ I should probably start normalizing my sleep cycle as well, but I've got a few early morning games to catch this week, and I need to build up tolerance. Hope I'm not as disappointed as Sunday's one!

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It's strange. You'd think that with the number of days left till I get my freedom severely curtailed in such short supply; I'd want to spend them in the most meaningful manner. Yet I find myself doing the reverse. And I understand, at least a little. I don't want to commit to anything, or enjoy myself too much before going in, lest I miss these days too much. I have heard that we'll be too tired to think about anything though.

My Heart Will Go On

"What is better; to be born good, or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?"
-Paarthurnax, Skyrim

Something I never cease thinking about.

When you're trapped, and efforts to find a way out seem futile; do you persist in rattling the bars of the cage in hope of finding some weakness, or do you turn your back on them and attempt to make yourself comfortable? 

But then again things aren't so clearcut in real life, are they?

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Yet another fun outing, this time on Monday with Jack, Amos, Merv and Angie to celebrate Jack's birthday! (I think I'm running out of adjectives to describe these things already..another sign of my brain's gradual degeneration I guess; though perhaps that's for the best what with NS coming up and all) The Titanic exhibition at the Art Science __________ at MBS was pretty interesting; it was cool to see all the relics they'd managed to recover from the wreck of the Titanic, almost 4km underwater. I really liked how the setting and outlook of that time period were explained so meticulously, providing a rather poignant background to the sinking of the ship. What was meant to be the crowning glory of a period of optimism set in technological development instead turned out to be a horrific disaster.  I also appreciated the effort put into research with regards to the lives of certain passengers and crew who were aboard the ship; from all the various classes (more on that later). Stories of how little twists in fate; a coal strike, for example, which resulted in other ships being unable to set off; and those passengers rebooking onto the Titanic (super unlucky!) or the Titanic's captain, who'd initially been planning to retire before the Titanic set off, yet reluctantly agreed after persuasion by The Company, and his promise to his family that it'd be the "last time" (he went down with his ship), could change an individual's life irrevocably. Being informed that the disaster could have been averted, if not for human stupidity/hubris: The Titanic being proclaimed "unsinkable" (which was really asking for it, in hindsight) and therefore not requiring enough lifeboats to accommodate all its passengers (they were judged to make the deck appear overly cluttered and therefore unsightly) as well as the lookouts spotting the iceberg all too late because they'd apparently forgot to bring along binoculars for the trip in the haste to set off. We got to see the gulf between the have and have-nots; as seen by the opulence enjoyed by First-Class passengers; fine dishware, great furnishings, separate dining and smoking rooms, and even their own stairway! versus what the rest got; via the artifacts which were painstakingly annotated with "most likely used by first-class passengers"; "seen in second-class bathrooms" etc. Oh, and we noticed, also in this picture that all the guys had the same taste in headwear, apparently. Not sure what that particular style of cap is called, though.

Could kinda appreciate the jobs that historians and their ilk do. To preserve what they can of the past for the future; cause as they said, if nobody did anything about it, the Titanic would become "a rust spot in the ocean in 30-40(?) years time" with nothing to show for it. Though the use of it all is kinda questionable, seeing that humans don't really seem to learn from their past mistakes haha.

Met Amos after that; dawdled as we tried to decide where to have lunch, finally decided upon Astons at Suntec, had our food, played Citadel (yet another interesting cardgame! and our gift to Jack, incidentally) before leaving.

Went to meet SY and Eliz for dinner at Novena after that; but both were late, so I spent my time walking rather aimlessly around the area; looking at stationery at Evergreen, watching TV (in 3D as well) at Harvey Norman before finally having dinner with them and going home.

"If dreams would come true

How happy I'd be!

I dreamed I loved you

And I dreamed you loved me."

Just something random we saw on an ancient postcard; one of the artefacts recovered from some (presumably) leather case at the bottom of the sea. I'm sharing it despite my mini-rant about the dearth of originality...well just because. Call me hypocritical if you will xP

I can't be the only one who thinks "My Heart Will Go On" was the perfect song for Titanic. Not only in the romantic sense; though that's surely there, but I think in terms of the human spirit and daringness to dream, as well! Despite the colossal (I was tempted to use "titanic" here but restrained myself xP) failure of the Titanic, we continued dreaming; even if success at times appeared (and still does appear) so far away in the distance, and well, ended up where we are today.

Morning Sounds

I'm sitting in the living room, planted in front of my laptop, when I suddenly hear a noise; a whisper, it seems, calling "korkor".

"Must be KYan, calling from upstairs; she does that, sometimes, after watching her Running Man on the Ipad late into the night."

So I call out to her. No response...

"Okay...might be a once-off thing, shall go back to listening to my music."

*noise repeats*

"Maybe she's not replying to screw with me.."

*noise repeats at regular intervals for next half min*

"Shit..."

I turn to the right, looking towards the main door, down the dark corridor. Nothing. My eyes then stray across my other sis, sleeping sprawled across one of the rattan chairs, just metres from me. The sound seems to be coming from her vicinity. I pay closer attention. "Chey! Just her snoring..."

Whoops haha.

Oh well. Friday was a pretty good day, despite it being the 13th and all. Sent off my little endeavour, so I'm done with it. Can't help wanting to know how well it was received (or whether it even reached!) though :S

Had to wake up early for work at Safra in the morning, so I was understandably quite tired. Hitched a ride with my dad, and we dropped by our new house in the morning. Seems like we won't be moving in before CNY afterall; not that I wasn't expecting it. Also paid a visit to my cousins who are literally living down the road (we're gonna be neighbours!) who're way more efficient and moved in earlier this month. Then onto work haha.

First 2 sessions (9.30-12; 3.30-5.30) were corporate bookings, the idea is that some companies; in this case the Police and some construction company want to do something new for a corporate function, so pay through the nose for a booking to get to shoot air rifles at some targets. Felt more like customer service than anything else; besides watching out for safety violations; and even then, not interfering unless it was too serious, and doing so in a discreet manner, all I did was count out pellets and distribute cards, dispensing the occasional tip along the way. Not very challenging, nor exciting, to be honest. Though it was pretty amusing to see all of them get so excited over everything; their scores, groupings, size of the hole etc, especially after doing well shooting on a pistol card with a rifle resting on sandbags on the countertop. Some interesting ideas too! Such as inflating balloons, attaching them to targets for them to aim at.



Met Amos for lunch and bowling during the break between the 1st and 2nd sessions, which was a really cool way to burn the time; don't know what I'd have found myself up to otherwise. I had dinner at that same old laksa place; and found myself reminiscing over a bowl of Chng Tng (冷的）; my usual dessert, which complements the laksa perfectly. Times spent, memories made, experiences......experienced.  Went back to Safra, took a nap in the coaching office, was walked in on by some of my juniors (a little awkward) and got ready for the 3rd and last session.

Last session (7.30-9.30) was the one I relished. Got the opportunity to induct a newcomer into the Junior Shooting Programme there, taught him some basics, and basically supervised the training. Most of them are quite obedient; and train seriously, and then there was this one P4 boy who kept complaining about the weight of the gun, shooting anyhow etc. I had some trouble with him cause I'm way too nice to be able to handle problem kids like him (yeah really!) so it was not really gratifying but horribly funny to see how my boss (who's the main coach) dealt with him; chastising him for it being too heavy cause he wasn't doing it properly and so on haha. I'll be in charge next week, though, when she and my coach (her husband) fly back to China for CNY, which I'm quite excited about!

So I ended up working for >6hrs; which kinda made me realize what a tiring job coaching is! HAHA. Can now empathize with how exhausted my coaches must have felt back then, when they had to coach in the morning details, and had to stay focused and alert all the way till 9.30 when the last detail ends. I think it could be a pretty rewarding job, though, and am pretty envious of them; it's good to be able to do something you like, and make a living off of it.

Not the most pretty display but YES!!! HAHA. Could have gone to bed after the first 45 mins but the second were a different kind of thrilling.

Shall do a quick recap of the class chalet since I'm awake anyway:

Was awesome, turnout rate on the first day was good; only 3 peeps couldn't make it IIRC. The BBQ was pretty successful as well! First BBQ I've attended where there wasn't much trouble starting the fire; guess Jack's experience played a large role there. (I'm randomly reminded of this BBQ in P3 so many years back where my mum dragged me off for our weekly visit to my grandma's house before we'd even got the fire started. Just one of the little incidents which scarred my childhood experience hehe) Short photo montage courtesy of Jack once again, followed by some random "speech" and song by tyf which I'll hold back judgement upon. Got a little gift which made me feel like an ass for a comment of sorts passed earlier. I'm not giving them to my mum afterall~

Played some poker at night with Amos, Yifan and Joo Gian while the rest were playing a protracted game of Gloom; using cards as stakes initially, then moving onto pushups/situps as we progressed through the night. We went through a number of hands; though my luck wasn't the greatest...became broke a few times, did a few sets of pushups. Was quite comical how we were pretty reckless at first, then everything got serious later on when we upped the stakes. I can't quite recall what we did the rest of the night and morning, tbh. We played some bridge, I know, and the rest played Go Fish! while some of us lay down on the mattresses, just staring at the ceiling fan, exchanging a few words. It's really quite therapeutic. Finally really fell asleep around 5+? which really isn't that late for me :P

We stoned around abit after waking up, finally got down to Downtown East for brunch at Burger King; Amos left for Changi after that, and we went back to the chalet to spend more time on the Xbox. The spastic rabbits game was freaking cute and fun; and we spent quite some time trying to fling this ball of snot which a rabbit clings to as far as possible, by shaking our heads like mad. Munchkin Cthulhu after that, won by Merv after an epic no-holds barred stop on Jack who called upon the (unwilling) Yifan for assistance. The strength went up to 60+ after all the buffs, and the monsters only won marginally, which is saying alot. Cultists make for a really intriguing gameplay.

Rented our bikes overnight for $10 apiece (excluding the tandem one) from this place in the middle of Pasir Ris Park and kept them in the chalet while we went to some Korean place at Downtown East for dinner. The overnight cycling was a great experience. We got lost a few times; Merv and I took a wrong turn, heading the opposite direction along the MRT tracks, didn't navigate the park connectors properly from what I gathered (not being involved much if at all in the navigation) but eventually made it. Went from Pasir Ris to Tampines, Bedok, Siglap, coasted down the stretch of ECP to Changi Village, and back to Pasir Ris again, with a few detours along the way. 50km+ according to Joo Gian, which is by far the furthest I've ever cycled; though we did stop along the way. We left the chalet around 11pm and got back at 6.29am the next day haha. Even managed to catch a FA Cup match of Arsenal vs Leeds from around the 17th min till the end at this coffeeshop where we took a break; Henry scoring the only goal (a good one!) on his first game back at Arsenal. Really funny how the rest were so exhausted that they were sleeping there, with some really unglam expressions while Amos and I, along with a whole bunch of people at other tables were watching the match! Damn shag after that; good thing there were many downhill stretches on the way back; really shiok cause you can just stop working the pedals and let gravity and momentum do the rest (Y)

There was this epic fail moment where I noticed this packet of white paint in a puddle of the same thing on the pavement too late; failed to avoid it, and was left with streaks of white on my tires for the rest of the trip. Good thing the uncle at the rental shop didn't mind; I was worrying about it throughout.

Nothing much after that, we got back, played some of Jack's math game with poker cards, some Go Fish!, had a short nap before returning the bikes, checking out of the chalet, taking the shuttle bus to the MRT and parting ways.

So, that's it haha. Really enjoyed the overnight cycling especially, you really get to appreciate how beautiful Singapore can be when it's quite at night. We basically didn't have to worry about cars on the road, and it was cool to look around and see the whole place illuminated by the warm glow of the streetlights. I loved the atmosphere :) I really appreciated the empty ECP as well haha. Past few times we went down, we always had to compete with the crowds of other cyclists, roller bladers etc for road usage but at night, we could cycle side-by-side and occupy the whole road if we so wished. I was really lucky this time to get a bike that actually worked properly with minimal squeaking; so I could enjoy the ride, and feel the power from my legs transferred to distance covered by the wheels on the ground. A very empowering feeling which running just can't give me, seeing how slow I am at that particular activity.

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It's pretty quiet at home now that school's started for all my siblings, who all left for their respective schools not too long ago. I've got some time to myself  now, much of which I've spent in front of this comp, though - I feel - productively in this case. Pretty much done with that not-so-little project I set out to do towards the end of last year, with the remainder being all those arbitrary stylistic decisions which I find so hard to make. Got a draft version out and it looks good! :D I'll be coaching at Safra once again on Friday; 6 hours this time, though with breaks in-between which should help me make up for the deficit wrought by the chalet. It's so nice to get honest pay for honest work, and to put my shooting experience to use as well!

Morning arrives, and my bed beckons. Signing off.

YES!!!! Totally worth staying up for :D Awesome if this carries on through the year.

It's a pity. I'd have liked to know what expression you had then, standing beside me. And after I'd taken so long to summon the courage to do so in the first place, too! A case of mission accomplished but failure nonetheless >.<

Well, had my coaching stuff on at Safra yesterday, pretty cool job, as I've said before. No dress code as well! The only one was to "not wear anything with Raffles on it"; not too strange considering my employer doesn't want people to think she's got students working for her hahah. Had the rather interesting experience of instructing this girl who I wasn't supposed to touch (as in no physical contact) at all while coaching her for some religious reasons I suppose. Just felt a little odd to have to specially take note of that while trying to demonstrate the various steps.

Went down to SGH the other day, accompanying my grandma on a visit. Just wanted to put down that I was extremely touched by the solidarity displayed, not only on a single occasion, mind you, but over days, weeks and months. And her saying that she didn't care how tough it was on her, as long as she let him know that he wasn't alone, people cared for him, and he could get to hear other people's voices, and talk to them.

^ a little too much personal stuff already, but it's something I really don't want to forget, so I'm just writing about it here.

Went for the final round of house visits as well, that same day. I was with the IC of organizing the project this time, but it was (apparently) her first time doing house visits so I found myself taking the lead. Really made me realize the benefits of keeping quiet and paying attention during the previous few sessions, such that I had little difficulty conducting the interviews in a pretty sensitive manner, I'd like to think, while being pretty personable at the same time as well! I guess what really inspired me was the observation that despite the many problems these people face in their lives; they still have dreams, and things they prioritize and will not compromise on. For eg, I talked to this lady who had 2 kids, one autistic boy and his older sister, and I could really sense how hard she was trying in order to raise her child to be able to function in society, one step at a time. And how she was determined to let the older sister have a normal childhood instead of succumbing to the temptation of getting her to take care of her brother while she looks for work.

I have faith in life now, that life will conspire to find a way so long as you're determined enough, and resilient enough. A good frame of mind to begin the year with.

I return to you from an hours-long journey of trawling through the recesses of this blog's archives to recapture and relive; if you will, my experience last year (first time I've referred to 2011 as last year haha). And I've realized a couple of things; so indulge me here.

Firstly, that my writing generally wasn't bad at all! I realize it's more than a little presumptuous to outright say that, especially about my own "work" (in the loosest sense of the word) but I don't really re-read anything that I write that much (which may explain my poor GP performance) and reading something right after you've written it doesn't give you the most objective of viewpoints, now does it? Reading the posts from months back, I'm able to appreciate them more (HAHA) especially when I find myself able to (to a certain extent) reinsert myself into the mindset I had when I first constructed it, or find myself subconsciously nodding along as I read the arguments I'd put together; able to follow them relatively easily even though I may have changed my mind since then. The quality seems to have gradually declined till present though..

It was also cool to see a process, basically; and realize that there are certain things which I've moved past by now, challenges I managed to overcome last year, and worries assuaged; which plagued me to no end in the past as well! I, at least, can sense a clear progression, and on occasion, regression, which is particularly intriguing.

That makes blogging worth it I guess, besides being an outlet for venting frustrations and just putting down random thoughts to be appreciated in the future.

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Jan's looks like it's going to be pretty busy (and in a good way too!). Have a couple of outings with friends, the upcoming class chalet; I've been asked to help out with coaching at Safra Yishun every Friday evening (for decent pay), there's one more round of house visits, the recycling and grocery distribution phases of Yifan's (Zhang) CIP, and of course, lots - and I mean LOTS - of packing and clearing up and throwing away of stuff to be done at home before the move towards the end of Jan. Not forgetting having to drag myself to run alot more than I have been atm in preparation for NS on the 31st. Busy busy busy. I've also got that little thing to finish up. Shouldn't drag it out for too long haha.

But currently at least; I wouldn't have it any other way. Heh I should probably try to catch some sleep now ><

Resolutions for 2012

A pretty convenient excuse to post in point form, so I'll just get to it:

1. Eat healthier, exercise more, get fitter - Pretty much a given thanks to NS (I hope) but still a worthwhile start to the list
2. Be less selfish - What I do, I do out of my own free will (to the greatest possible extent, anyway). Though I'm entitled to be a little cynical about things, I shall be less concerned about whether those efforts are reciprocated or even appreciated/registered or not.
3. Worry less, enjoy more - Pretty self-explanatory. I often think that I "think too much" (which may itself be a meta-problem haha) about loads of things; things which; more often than not are out of my control. Incessant worrying, occasional "emo-ing" which I guess I could do without.
4. To make more of my time and get more out of life - Pretty vague; I know what I'm getting at without quite being able to put it into words. 
5. To act more maturely and respond less reactively (emotions-wise; don't know how else to describe it) to situations - I feel I have to have more self-control, basically. I shock myself sometimes at how acerbic I can be; at the accusatory tones I can inject into my voice at times, knowing full well how hurtful it can be. Social interactions/relationships aren't - or shouldn't be at least - about "winning" or anything like that, and it doesn't get anyone anywhere; besides leaving a really bitter aftertaste. And when I observe such things going on (that don't involve me) I've got to be able to do better than just keep quiet; or forcing my way in and making things that much worse. 
6. To step up more, and not shirk responsibility - Ironic considering what I was trying to do in J1; and I'm not particularly proud of what I did wrt to that in 2011 upon some critical reflection, something I really have to work on; both this year and the years to come.
7. Confidence - I've been improving, methinks, but still lots of room for improvement. Can't really blame others for not valuing me when I don't value myself much at all.
8. To be strong - One of the most important I feel. It's something I always hope for/expect from myself and this year is no different; except maybe requiring a little more on the physical front to cope with NS.
9. And lastly, to be myself; always. No matter the changes/improvements/whatever I'd like to see in myself, and my numerous imperfections (thus necessitating this list of resolutions!) to never stray from who I am, what I believe in, and stand for. To not compromise "myself" though the idea of me-ness still remains a little vague at this point of time.

And other stuff, of course, but it was never meant to be an exhaustive list :)

I remain optimistic of  the year to come, yet have made the conscious effort to temper those expectations with a healthy dose of realism.


"Be like the headland against which the waves break and break: it stands firm, until presently the watery tumult around it subsides once more to rest. 'How unlucky I am, that this should have happened to me!' By no means; say, rather, 'How lucky I am that this has left me with no bitterness; unshaken by the present, and undismayed by the future."
-Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

An apt approach to the future I think; to keep everything in perspective, and to face life's challenges stoutly and bravely.

Shan't spoil it with further over-analysis, and with that, I end my resolutions haha.

Happy New Year, guys! Let's make it an awesome one, wherever we may be, whatever we may be doing and (shall I say?) whoever we may/may not be with :)

Lestrade: In another life, Mr Holmes, you would have made an excellent criminal
Holmes: Yes, and you an excellent policeman.

Sherlock Holmes (I) was badass and awesome. I can only wish I were as fast (intelligent); and I loved the accent and repartee as well! Quite a good family bonding experience as well; the three of us huddled in front of my brother's laptop; out of necessity, of course, ASUS screens have a notoriously small ideal viewing angle.

Now you know that my nightbirdness runs in the family ;)

Weaponized sincerity must be one of the strongest forces known to Man haha. Though it does tend to lose effectiveness when used repeatedly; much like a certain someone's puns XD

Yesterday's outing to the board games cafe followed by Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol was (I shan't say surprisingly xP) extremely fun! The movie's really good btw; I really do enjoy and appreciate an overly-convoluted plot interspersed between the obligatory explosions, gun fire, and fist fights. Throw in a dash of Indian billionaire with certain - shall I say - strange interests just for kicks and you're all set to go. No misrepresentation or any of that bullshit by the trailer; you know exactly what you're in for when you step in haha. T'was super shiok to just see things blown up one after another (Y)

We capitalized on this 6 bucks for 4 hours + free flow drinks at the cafe, though I couldn't shake the bloated feeling after the fourth cup >< Learnt to play some interesting board games too! Scotland Yard was pretty cool, and it was fun playing as Mr X, which I inadvertedly volunteered for after reaching for the seemingly cool-looking cap. Balderdash was absolute bullshit (in an awesome way!) and Dixit was fun as well, though after a quick Google search, I realize our points system was a little off (Jack!) : If nobody or everybody finds the correct picture, the storyteller scores 0, and each of the other players scores 2. Otherwise the storyteller and whoever found the correct answer scores 3. Players score 1 point for every vote gotten by their own picture.

Crashed after a shower at home, which is why I find myself awake once more :/

Day 4: I've downsized my target to a more reasonable one; and progress has been pretty good! Trying some shading now, effect's not too bad.

Great outing yesterday; shall just make a note here to go see Angie's blog if I want to recap it haha.

I made the proper decision regarding a kinda awkward situation (for me, at least) earlier without taking the easy way out I'd created for myself, so I'm semi-proud of myself for that.

Shall go to sleep now and (hopefully) wake up early enough that I'm not late for today's appointment. I really don't like to keep people waiting; and I even missed out on a round of bowling thanks to that yesterday as well!