Biomed stuff ended yesterday with the Symposium, after which I came back, showered, and slept for 13 hours straight, from 7 to 8 >_< Guess I shouldn't have stayed back in school so late just to get in some last min mugging (and skipping training no less!)

The symposium itself was pretty underwhelming tbh. After the many training sessions we had by our seniors, and all the effort put it, what we had to do in the end didn't make the effort seem all that worthwhile. The MCQ questions we got were more trivia-ish, and thus a matter of guessing, and the presentation question we got (on hypertension) wasn't that tough to handle as well. And while the exhibitions were part of the symposium programme, the time allocated to viewing them overlapped with the time we had to prepare for our presentation, so I didn't get to see them at all... Imo the greatest takeaways I got were more from the trainings in the run-up to it, which were really awesome and interesting; and the work with my group members, who were cool, funny and retarded (in a good way!). The silver medal I got out of it was just an additional bonus : P

The awards ceremony was hilarious. While I appreciate the effort spent on honouring everyone's achievements, does that really justify spending around 2 hours calling people up on stage 1 by 1 to present them with their prizes? Not to mention the fact that prize-winners weren't informed beforehand, and that prizes were given bottom-up so to speak, so there was a lot of heart-pounding excitement. And the conflict between hoping that one's name is called - no matter the award - and hoping that you're not called for a lower award and instead a higher one. Barely hidden anticipation. Coupled with the fear that my name wouldn't be called. Encouragement by teammates who kept insisting that I'd done well. And finally relief after finally being called. Lingering thoughts on what'd have happened if I'd just done that little bit better. Haha, I'm quite a weak-minded person afterall.

So yup, it's over, now time to focus a little bit more on my ailing studies I suppose (though I can't say the symposium detracted from them that much!) and I've got a shoot later tonight.

Shitty day on the whole, and I'm on a downwards spiral. Or actually, I've always been going down, it's just that till recently, I've been too intently looking somewhere else to actually take note of my surroundings. As someone famous (or soon to be, at the very least I'm sure) once said: I'm sinking in a cesspool of shit.

And I'm starting to doubt the truth behind the smile plastered on my face; the lame jokes I crack, and the optimism I try so hard to exude. It's tempting to just screw it and not bother, but the senselessness helps to relieve everything, if only a little. But I sense detachment occurring, and I really don't know what to do especially since a part of me welcomes it so much.

Emo perhaps. But whatever. I'm a little too strapped for time to end this on my usual optimistic note.

Recent addiction to Ramly Burgers. Now I know exactly why they're so famous. It's been some time since I last bit into a piping hot burger with the most perfect blend of sauces ever. Mmm.

How do I get my presence acknowledged?

WEIQI IHC CHAMPS WOOHOO!

Played pretty well today, though credit for victory has to go to our super awesome J1 ace who won all her games definitively. T'was close for me. 1 loss out of 4, with my last victory being a mere difference of 2 stones, following huge blunders by myself. Both my teammates had finished their games, with one victorious while the other conceded by 4 points. Victory or defeat hung in the balance. Things didn't look good. A persistent comeback by me, fighting for and clinging onto every single empty bit of space on the board eventually let me scrape my win, and with it, 1st place for MR! XD

Baby Griffles looks so cute okay. I don't care that our biomed trainer Liang Yi was appalled at what our school mascot has become, and that if you cover the beak, the head looks just like a pig, or a cat with pig ears. I got IHC champs shirt as well, though it's S-sized atm. Shall get it changed soon.

Delight. Though yet one more person has pointed out that I'm easy to bully and thus fun to make fun of =/ Shit.

Played for MR in the Chinese Chess IHC today. We won 2 of our lineups, drawed 2 and lost 1 to come in third. And personally, I didn't lose a single match at all! But I felt really guilty about my wins, since 2 of them were against newbs, like I managed to win this guy in 30 seconds with a 双炮将 which is literally the oldest trick in the book =/ like seriously, I used to keep winning my bro with it when he was in P4 I think till he finally wised up to it. I even had 1 walkover cause the other guy I was meant to play against had to leave. My final 2 wins weren't  quite as easy, but they weren't rightfully mine either >_< In the second last match, I was down on pieces after an unwise trade-off. I persevered however, and managed to stave death off for more than 10 mins to win by time. In the last, I made the EXACT SAME UNWISE TRADEOFF, but managed to grasp victory through a total cheapo. So today wasn't the most trying session I've ever had, but it was quite fun, despite the ever-present feeling of guilt T.T Hope I didn't quench any budding passions for chess today.

I think I'm gradually finding the motivation to start working, but it's so troublesome and time-consuming. Maybe it's just because I'm slow, but I took almost an hour to do the Math Assignment and just forever to get any work done. Is that how it's supposed to be? Any advice? =/
Even though I stay back quite a bit, I really don't know if I have what it takes to devote that amount of time to work, other commitments not-withstanding.


While it may not seem that way to others, I find myself becoming more distant, aloof and detached, and there's been a resurgence of my cynical side of late. Sometimes it seems like it's a cyclical kind of thing, but I don't really want to fall into this rut all over again.

Else there'd be no proof of advancement, would there?

Politics is the art of persuasion. Discuss.

One point I alluded to in my essay regarding the above: Merely having the ability to persuade others to follow you wholly insufficient. Competence is key.

The only difference between a persuasive incompetent and a non-persuasive one is just the number of people you bring down with you.

Self-serving leadership that somehow benefits the greater good vs leadership for the greater good. I wonder who can tell the difference. And even more, does anyone really care?

Bro's friends came over to study today. I seem to have been conscripted as free homework help. Grr.

Shooting interviews. Fate of people in my hands and all that. And I can't help but wonder, 5 years ago; just what was it that made this amazing senior; captain in Sec 3, headboy in Sec 4, decide to allow this not-so-small Sec 1 who said that he wanted to join shooting to "strengthen his arms" into the club, over the hundreds of others that applied as well. Did he see anything, perhaps? I'll never know.

It's refreshing to see the new interest and passion our interviewees had, though a dark part wonders how much of it is real, and how long it could possibly last. Even so, I could tell some people really wanted to join, and I'm kinda glad we didn't have to eliminate so many people this time.

Can't really express my thoughts and feelings bout this properly, it just means so much more to me than the significance of the event probably should hold.

Yeah...and after the interviews ended, the RG veteran (?) shooters decided to conduct "interviews" of their own, and I ended up being the subject. Retarded responses FTW. Hehx at least it seems like I have fun juniors this year.

Mmm and I somehow managed to epic fail twice within 12 hours. First was coming back after training after the interviews. I was kinda tired, so I took a seat even though the train was at Admiralty and just...fell asleep. Normally when I overshoot Marsiling, I wake up at Kranji, chuckle at my foolishness then take the other train back, but this time, I actually only woke up at Bukit Gombak...

Second one was that I slept at 6 am today after...um...watching KoB. It's too awesome already. I only woke up when KH woke me up after my biomed groupmate called my phone multiple times. I ended up being 2 hours late for the meeting, and that was after spending $12 on  cab ride...

People have been laughing at me too much of late...I'm not some circus act for your enjoyment 'k?

Just failed again. Not telling what, since I doubt I'd be able to show my face in public again if it were to be revealed..

The popularization of things confessional, accusatory in nature. The need to spout a new revelation every single time, as if everything we say, do, or think isn't just a done-to-death re-hash of something that's already been brought into this world. The world is running out of ideas. So no need to be radical for radical's sake; for that attempt's doomed to failure. So much more, I'd appreciate, honesty, simple and true, regardless how boring and pedestrian. No masks, no lies, no facades. Simply; the truth.

Spammage of the rule of three. Low brow, crass, inelegant (here I go again!) but that's my style, so leave it be.

Information overload from Biomed stuff. As I was telling Kieng Wee, the syllabus they gave us didn't look half so heavy as what we've got to cover. Pathology is just...so much. Seriously.
First presentation: "Ok, looks good, everything makes sense" *Takes notes actively, pen just flies across the paper*
Second presentation: "Oh my, that's a bit tough" *Jots down a few pointers*
Third presentation: "WHY WON'T IT STOP!" *Attempts to maintain semblance of attention*
Fourth presentation: "..." *Brain dead*
Okay, maybe it wasn't so bad. But quite mentally taxing either way, but from the ratio of information retained : information loss : information that simply went over my head things don't look too good XD
It's interesting, though, and what I do retain is some pretty darn cool stuff.


Gave someone a shock after today's session ended, looked like they'd seen a ghost :P

Two days of GP essays in a row, YEAH! I think I did really, really well! *cuts back on sarcasm* Haha, but I realized that towards the end of an essay, my writing style becomes more free, and disproportionately more pompous and arrogant. The level of crap goes up, and I start to lose focus on the main argument; going off tangent about this startling new revelation that I JUST have to share with the rest of the world. Or maybe just the poor, bewildered reader of my essay. Hopefully all the circles around around the poor guy somehow let me get an A at the end of the day.

Chem tutorial today was a disaster, and a further reminder that I've got to buck up, fast. Couldn't even answer those simple questions =.=

I stayed back in school after today's trials to finish up my incomplete essay (took way too long) and embark upon some math. And I kinda experienced what Jack said about the addictive feeling of doing work; and I think I'll be able to do more next time, as long as I have absolutely nothing around me to distract me (the notion of computers as productivity enhancers is simply amusing).

Trials hehe. Much to be desired. No further comment. It's really interesting to see how ideological differences play out so obviously once it comes to real life.

Oh and I'm signed up for the NTUIS as both a pistoler and rifler (terms which don't really exist in case you were wondering). Splendid. Or at least it would be; if coach hadn't passed my rifle on to my dear junior (no sarcasm this time) after her's malfunctioned. It's also quite sad how Marcus, Yi Ling and Yelin don't seem to have been selected to participate.

Hate MT promises.

I've overshot my MRT stop because I was sleeping on multiple occasions before, but Friday was the first time I ever undershot. I was so tired after Take 5 + our class outing that I was drifting between consciousness and unconsciousness the moment I got a seat a Jurong East. A moment of panic induced by my father calling me cause he was locked out of the house jolted me awake and sent me stumbling out of the MRT. I only realized I had gotten off at the wrong stop as I took the escalator down and found that the surroundings looked decidedly unfamiliar =.=

Tiring Take 5 was, but it was the most fun I've had in awhile. Jack, Sandra, Roxanne and me participated in the Amazing Race which basically boiled down to running laps up and down between the beaches and Beach Station of Sentosa, along the same stretch of road as we moved from station to station. The stations were quite interesting though. There was this one where we had to answer some NE questions, where I realized all that "knowledge" drilled into me over the past 10 years of Social Studies has disappeared just like that. *poof* I mean, none of us could even say what the 5 stars on Singapore's flag represent -.-''' others had us sing CNY songs backwards (quite a challenge!), do footdrills and other random stuff. This station had soap bubbles sloshed on our shirts, and Roxanne and Sandra had to use pathetically weak water guns to squirt them off. Luckily it was quite windy (assisted by some surreptitious blowing on our parts while the organizers weren't looking) so they had some help with that. Salt water got into my mouth and well...it tasted salty. WOW. We even got to take the LUGE for free. You take this ski lift-like thing where you stand in a yellow box, and just wait for the contraption to move up behind you and plop yourself down on it. The whole thing then carries you up up up over trees and so on, then you take something like a Go-Cart down. We had to look out for words on the way down, so didn't go too fast :/ "Your friends are the chocolate chips in the cookies of life" (Y)
For the last station, we had to carry each other, while the guy below kicked this ball past the goal line. Well, Jack couldn't carry me, obviously, so I ended up carrying him across my shoulders in a fireman's lift while Sandra piggybacked Roxanne and we succeeded.

We went for lunch and karaoke after that. So yeah, there was a choice between either a 2 or 4 hour package, and 4 hours seemed way too long, so we went with the 2 hour one. But time just flew by, and we wanted to continue some more, so ended up paying extra to extend it. After that, we wandered around Toys'R'Us to burn some time around dinner; and spent our time making totally random comments about all the toys we saw, "reliving our childhoods". Dinner was spent at the Soup Spoon after much deliberation, and that was it for the class outing.

I'd like to spend some time indulging in our national sport and complaining about how tiring the week's been, with me going back at 9+ on the first 3 days, sleeping for around 3 hours per night, and going back to school on Sat as well; but I'm not a champion at doing so, it's mostly my fault and I really don't want to come off as a douche, so I'll leave things be.

Mr Tang's been quite critical and I seem to be arrowed quite a bit, though of course I know that nothing's supposed to be taken personally. But honestly, don't you think that it's fair for me to be a little miffed that when I went up to present my essay outline, he not only critiqued my points, but also saw fit to bring up my penmanship, even going to the extent where he mentioned that if he were a Cambridge marker, he "just wouldn't want to give me an A, and if the content originally merited a 35, he'd give a 34 just for the sake of it"? He even got samples of the other guys' handwriting to contrast to LOL. I know it's true though, so I'll work on it...






P.S If you noticed that I used the semi-colon a lot less this time, it can be attributed to our dear GP tutor pointing out my flagrant disregard for sentence structure when applying it, resulting in sentence fragments. Woe is me.

Heh, I'm spamming some Korean drama now. Baking King FTW. I'll do my work tomorrow, er...I mean today, promise.

Had a randomly fun family outing today. First we went to this field near my house to go fly kite, literally. However, there was scant flying and more crazy running around as we tried to get the kite up into the air. Insufficient string and a kite that I highly suspect was meant purely to be ornamental meant that we did not see much success. In fact, our multiple vain attempts resulting in said kite being dragged in the mud and eventually; being broken apart, so much for its ornamental value =.=

Next was a long drive with no particular destination in mind. We finally decided to go have a look at Marina Bay Sands by way of elimination. Not to the casino though; we do have minors afterall. Just to have a stroll around, take a look at all the shops selling branded goods which I don't expect to grace with my patronage in the course of my natural lifespan, and just see what things were like in general.

And yeah, they have this gigantic bowl positioned over a water feature downstairs, and tourists kept trying to toss coins into the hole in the center. Some coins rolled on edge up the slope, and came rolling down again; back and forth, back and forth. I expected those that didn't go in to just remain in the bowl for collection, but turns out water gushes out of outlets in the sides of the bowl, washing everything downwards. Makes collection of the "tips" pretty darn convenient, doesn't it?

By some freak chance, I happened to run into Sherri at Borders while we were waiting for a free table for lunch/dinner. Being called "Christopher" out of the blue gave me a shock...

Food was nice, mussels in white wine, pumpkin soup, and fish & chips. Mmm.

That's about it, I guess.

Anyway, it's back to school in a couple of days; trainings are gonna be shifted back to the RJ range as well, we've got trials & JAE CCAFeste to deal with, and I'll have symposium training sessions as well. I'm really worried, since I'm pretty sure the trainings will conflict, and I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with it.

The thing about gun allocation is a concern to me as well, I've already had it happen to me last year, and I don't want a repeat now, of all times, especially when I'm trying to nail everything down, build up some consistency. I don't want my hammer to be taken away from me just as I'm getting used to it. I'm not saying that I couldn't live without it, of course. I'd hammer this nail in with my bare hands if necessary; just saying that I'd love it if I get to keep this hammer, for once. DX

CNY visiting at my 外婆's place: 4 parts sleeping, 2 parts eating, 2 parts playing C.Chess with my 外公, 1 part sitting around awkwardly and the last part spent greeting relatives >.<

It's quite strange, or normal I guess that I don't have much to say to those relatives I only see once every year, and whose only comments are: 哇，你张得那么大了！ So I end up just sitting on the sofa as the parents and grandparents chatter incessantly among themselves. And, I don't know; it's amazing to me that they know each other to that extent, and have all the details engraved in their heads; while I don't even know my third cousin's great uncle or whatever at all. How to survive in the adult world like this...

My 外公 loves to play Chinese Chess so he keeps challenging us to play with him. I'm usually able to beat him (albeit by a small margin) but today, I made this crucial mistake early on that put me on the defensive for the rest of the game. I fought desperately to hold on - which I actually find to be the most enjoyable part of playing - and he sportingly followed without pressing the large advantage he had in the most boring manner. The game dragged on for over an hour, and I eventually lost...I don't really mind though =)

Breakthrough =D
It wasn't really an epiphany, but rather gaining an insight into the execution of the whole process through repeated grinding. I kinda realized that there's no need to think so much about what's wrong, or even whether I'm doing it correctly. Just. Execute. Done. It sounds quite weird, but that's because I'm trying to capture the feeling in words; and everyone knows I utterly fail at doing that. But anyway, it's quite heartening to see the changes I've been making and disciplining myself to enforce working out and producing results. It makes me feel like if I just continue on properly, I'll actually be able to get somewhere with this.

I've got to start digging up reading material for that Biomed Symposium; when I attended this session held by an alumnus who's now into surgery yesterday, most of it just flew way over my head. It wasn't just my lack of knowledge though; more than that, it was the frantic pace at which he threw out terms and the windy train of thought. He was interesting, though, with many of the traits some member of the public would expect of the "typical" Rafflesian which however aren't really all too common among many of us today.

Not even an hour into CNY and the phone's buzzing with well-wishes; FB is absolutely flooded with them and I've just had my first truly legit reason for staying up late this year. Not bad, not bad at all ~

Reunion dinner with my cousins, aunt and grandparents was pretty much the same as previous years: Stuffing my face at the buffet, forcing myself to shovel down excess food which they took, playing around with my cousins; doing the eyebrow thing for their amusement >< haha it was quite fun.

P.S The okonomiyaki at NorthPoint is really quite good; at least for someone with as pedestrian a palate as mine. The only disappointment was realizing that it was made totally of veggies -.- we should have taken a MUCH closer look at the menu before ordering XD