Time for that long overdue post in this time between wakefulness and sleep, though over the past few weeks my circadian rhythm has become messed up beyond recognition.

Alone would probably be a reasonable word to characterize these weeks, alone yet not quite lonely. The days seem to pass in a blur at times, perhaps because I've not been maximizing the use of my time, but that's well-trodden ground by now, something I'll avoid. I've been spending much of the time on my computer, trawling the Internet for je ne sais quoi, casting out into the wide abyss hoping for some resonance and feedback, perhaps, but emptiness can only beget emptiness, no? How ironic that amidst its depths I find nothing for myself, except those same few sites, over and over again.

Collisions with the outside world are intermittent, and not at all unwelcome, I've been to the gym and gone swimming with Mos, Merv joined us for dinner 2 Fridays past, conversations that've brought me out of my own head, the benefits of solitude aside I truly appreciate having sounding-boards for the most ridiculous or irrelevant of ideas, for casual conversation, the frank sharing of concerns, worries and sometimes dreams, does it speak more about me perhaps that I don't find this easy to do with many other people, despite attempts to be open and earnest with the people I come across? Sometimes I find the banality with which I resort to on many an occasion frankly appalling.

That said, it's been good to get to know meet my coursemates, to begin the process of matching names to faces, and to really start to get to know them beyond the most trivial exchange of particulars and information that seems to preface any meeting; a necessary step no doubt, but one that I find particularly onerous (don't we all?). It's a common courtesy I guess, and a foundation to embark upon further conversation, though to be honest I'm not all too sure sometimes whether we're just asking for the sake of asking, and whether all this is forgotten at first parting. Others more socially adept than myself would probably be able to tell you who is from what JC, what CCA they were from etc but unfortunately such facts usually elude me without further reinforcement, which I'm making a conscious effort to rectify. Yes, Yen San, I remember that you live at Telok Blangah, though there's probably no chance of you seeing this xP

My coursemates seem like a pretty varied bunch of people, I think they're alright on a whole, perhaps there are a few who'd give Jack a run for his money, I haven't been able to tell much more from the few times we've met. The spectrum of schools and ages is pretty varied as well, the spread of JCs seems much more level than what I've been led to believe is the case with *cough*NUS*cough* though the gender ratio is horribly skewed, 8 guys : 2 girls if I'm doing my math right xP strangely enough there seem to be a lot more of us second-time applicants (AKA NUS rejects lol) than first-time ones, and that's about it in terms of demographics. First meeting was for lunch at eighteen chefs at Tiong Bahru (really good value for money, customization in terms of the dish you order etc, definitely worth going to again), second time a visit to NUS' anatomy museum, courtesy of a NUS M2's invitation, he actually told/led the supervisor to believe that we were the incoming batch of M1s to give us a tour around (oops) and offered to help us with anything we needed, questions we had, and apparently they'd offered to organize an orientation for us, which our Profs refused, a really kind gesture, though I can understand why our Profs did what they did. It was really cool to observe the preserved specimens on display in the museum, dissected and laid out to highlight the respective structures and organs, it could possibly be viewed as grotesque by some I guess, but it was obvious that it's all for educational purposes with all due respect, so nothing wrong with it from my POV. NUS students also have further anatomy hall sessions where they go into this theatre and organs from real cadavers are literally laid before them in carts and they're supposed to poke and feel around to further reinforce their learning, so it's probably imperative to quickly get over the ick factor. Something that was really impressed upon me though was the breadth and depth of what I'll have to study and be expected to be familiar with as a medical student as well as a practicing doctor in the future. It's not that I didn't have any prior expectations about it, but it really reinforced the fact that I'll have to put much work into this over the next few years and probably the rest of my life, it's a little daunting, but a challenge that I'm up for :P

The next meeting (do pardon my awkward paragraphing) was a self-organized IntroDOCtion (hurhur) held at the function room of Gabriel's condo, it's one of those ridiculously huge East Coast condo complexes, so pretty impressive stuff. And this, of course, was right after the signing of the Medical Undergraduate Agreement last Saturday, which started off with me bleary-eyed and headed to the Police Centre around 6 in the morning (note my screwed up body clock, it felt like 3 am when my mum woke me T.T) with my parents to submit an official change of address request which I'd been procrastinating on, and suddenly necessitated by the signing later that day, before heading to Yishun to collect my new spectacles, which my brother insists are totally hideous (urgh) before going to the HPB for the bond signing. The crux of the agreement basically being tying myself to serve the government for 5 years, failing which my sureties (my parents) would have to pay $500k for me to break the bond; no way that's happening lol. I managed to link up with some NTU peeps while over there and secured a ride from someone's mom (the CEO of SH and wife of the DeM no less, speak about white horses) over to the condo. Minor awkward moment when I was trying to help close the car boot, a little hesitantly because I was afraid of slamming it, only to have her open it fully once more and reach up to a button which made it close automatically. Oops. It was pretty vanilla after that, so was the meetup, around 30+ of us were there, it was more like an opportunity to mingle, familiarize a little etc before school really starts, pretty enjoyable nonetheless.

Lastly, which was yesterday, I went down with some of them to a talk held for prospective applicants at the Mandalay Campus at Novena, meet someone before that. Note to self: Never suggest to a girl to have lunch at Popeyes and other such places, quite hard to have conversation while stuffing your face with fried chicken, it probably doesn't do for a great first impression (I kid, it wasn't that bad, I hope). We got to speak to some of the faculty there, as well as horror of horrors, help to speak to some of the students present, answer some questions etc, basically to help sell the school. It was an interesting experience to put myself on the other side of the applications process for once hehe. Speaking to the profs really helped to ramp up my excitement about the start of school, the programme and pedagogy really does sound engaging, it's something that's never been done to that great an extent in Singapore; they've made full use of this opportunity to tailor the entire curriculum around it, so I absolutely can't wait for school to start. Sure, it may be more demanding, but it actually sounds fun, not just boring lectures that you sleep through most of the time or don't even have to turn up for, it's more interaction based, and structured to reinforce learning, I fervently hope we realize its potential.

Ok, I've rambled enough about school etc and I've got no wish to bore you so I'll end it here. Now, time for sleep to claim me, and perhaps I'll have dreams of sneaking among rooftops, and leaping upon unsuspecting prey, finishing them off as they turn to dust in my arms, I've been playing a fair bit of Dishonoured afterall. Great game (Y)