Won't ever grow sick of this same old song :)
Some things have an expiry date to them; days, months, years? It is only those that carry emotions and powerful memories that remain forever in our hearts, even when everything else is turned to dust.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Last day of proper lessons. I guess it didn't really sink in; some rushing off after getting those PW markers' comments back, till only 10 or so of us were left in class. Savoring the atmosphere of one of the last few times we'll just be hanging around in class, talking about stuff that eludes my memory right now. Horribly mundane, really, but something that will be dearly missed. What's up next, I wonder? I can't even begin to guess, the past week has been wholly unpredictable. Quite interesting to see how people react to stress; really.
I applaud the dedication of CNA towards the covering of the Presidential elections. Like okay, I understand that you have that slot of airtime set aside; and that you don't really have much to work with, but when your're repeating "news" - in the loosest sense of the word - culled shamelessly from Twitter, it's just sad..
Haven't been following the PE so actively, but can't say I've been horribly impressed by what I've seen. The general impression just doesn't have the kind of dignity I'd expect of a Presidential Election. So much contention - understandable, of course - but the result doesn't seem conducive for future work and progress..How can you have a president who actually gets booed at by the people? We look set to find out.
"Don't lose sight of the bigger picture in pursuit of your selfish ambitions." Useful reminder, thanks :)
Sometimes a horse needs to put on blinkers, so it can run fast and far; but humans aren't horses, nor do we have the "luxury" of being steered by someone who presumably has a better idea of where to go, what to do.
We, and only we are masters of our fates, captains of our soul; so we'd better know, where we really want to go. So that, I don't know, we don't wind up at our "Promised Land" only to shed those blinkers; look around blearily in the brightness of the sun, only to find ourselves bereft of everything we care about. Or perhaps find that in the process of blind pursuit; that the acts we've committed, choices we've made, have irrevocably changed us, in not so desirable ways.
Of course, there is a certain tendency to overstate/over-exaggerate the seriousness of this, since it's only rarely that that "worst-case scenario" would come about.
I applaud the dedication of CNA towards the covering of the Presidential elections. Like okay, I understand that you have that slot of airtime set aside; and that you don't really have much to work with, but when your're repeating "news" - in the loosest sense of the word - culled shamelessly from Twitter, it's just sad..
 | ||
| Picture practically speaks for itself.. |
"Don't lose sight of the bigger picture in pursuit of your selfish ambitions." Useful reminder, thanks :)
Sometimes a horse needs to put on blinkers, so it can run fast and far; but humans aren't horses, nor do we have the "luxury" of being steered by someone who presumably has a better idea of where to go, what to do.
We, and only we are masters of our fates, captains of our soul; so we'd better know, where we really want to go. So that, I don't know, we don't wind up at our "Promised Land" only to shed those blinkers; look around blearily in the brightness of the sun, only to find ourselves bereft of everything we care about. Or perhaps find that in the process of blind pursuit; that the acts we've committed, choices we've made, have irrevocably changed us, in not so desirable ways.
Of course, there is a certain tendency to overstate/over-exaggerate the seriousness of this, since it's only rarely that that "worst-case scenario" would come about.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
How very adult.
[I've deleted a chunk; partially out of self-censorship, and partially out of the hope that I'll feel differently in time soon to come.]
No wonder then, that I look upon the past favorably, when things weren't so motivated; were more innocent, dare I say? When you have no particular reason for doing something; it makes the act itself so much more meaningful. An openness was present then, and I fear the same can't be said for now.
If I told you that it's fine to be open; that it's fine cause I don't want anything of you at all; would you believe me, I wonder? Or just stare at me, giving me that "WTF IS HE SMOKING" look that I'm way too accustomed to?
[I've deleted a chunk; partially out of self-censorship, and partially out of the hope that I'll feel differently in time soon to come.]
No wonder then, that I look upon the past favorably, when things weren't so motivated; were more innocent, dare I say? When you have no particular reason for doing something; it makes the act itself so much more meaningful. An openness was present then, and I fear the same can't be said for now.
If I told you that it's fine to be open; that it's fine cause I don't want anything of you at all; would you believe me, I wonder? Or just stare at me, giving me that "WTF IS HE SMOKING" look that I'm way too accustomed to?
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Google detects "unusual traffic from your [my] computer network" apparently, and has seen fit to block my access for much of the day. Way to go, Google (Y) Irrational rage aside, there are some very valid reasons why Google should be feared. As a personal anecdote, my sister used to be a satisfied user of gmail till a few months ago till her account was frozen due to some weird problem regarding her age, and some credit card information as well as personal particulars were demanded to unfreeze it. Pretty messed up, right? Yet ironically, I'll still continue using gmail, continue to use google as my preferred search engine and blogger for this, cause it's just convenient that way..
Just a thought I had over the weekend:
Life's pretty much a zero-sum game, when you get down to it. Everything we strive to obtain, all those achievements we struggle so hard to...well...achieve; most - if not all - of them come at the expense of someone else. I'm not advocating that we work any less harder to let others have the opportunity; that'd be the height of foolishness, imo, but I do think that an understanding/realization of that point is really important. Armed with this understanding, we "consume" with gratitude, with respect for those whom we deprive, and make full use of what we've gained.
Pretty random, so I just decided to keep it to a short snippet.
On a more humorous note; my sister apparently professed to have dreamt about dropping the iPad while she was asleep. Meta-dreams aside, the hilarious part was when my mum walked in and said that she had actually dropped the iPad. Complete coincidence or calculated attempt to deflect blame? We shall never know xD
Had an awesome dinner at my aunt's house today, cooked by my uncle :D They've got things sorted out so well; a seemingly perfect balance between discipline and freedom the bringing up of my cousins that it's no wonder why I occasionally find myself looking towards them as a "model" family of sorts. Unhealthy comparisons ttm.
And finally; I've broken 6, gushed past 7, and hit 8. I'll get to the double-digits soon!
Just a thought I had over the weekend:
Life's pretty much a zero-sum game, when you get down to it. Everything we strive to obtain, all those achievements we struggle so hard to...well...achieve; most - if not all - of them come at the expense of someone else. I'm not advocating that we work any less harder to let others have the opportunity; that'd be the height of foolishness, imo, but I do think that an understanding/realization of that point is really important. Armed with this understanding, we "consume" with gratitude, with respect for those whom we deprive, and make full use of what we've gained.
Pretty random, so I just decided to keep it to a short snippet.
On a more humorous note; my sister apparently professed to have dreamt about dropping the iPad while she was asleep. Meta-dreams aside, the hilarious part was when my mum walked in and said that she had actually dropped the iPad. Complete coincidence or calculated attempt to deflect blame? We shall never know xD
Had an awesome dinner at my aunt's house today, cooked by my uncle :D They've got things sorted out so well; a seemingly perfect balance between discipline and freedom the bringing up of my cousins that it's no wonder why I occasionally find myself looking towards them as a "model" family of sorts. Unhealthy comparisons ttm.
And finally; I've broken 6, gushed past 7, and hit 8. I'll get to the double-digits soon!
Friday, August 19, 2011
New Beginnings
Swallow the bitterness, and move on. The mayfly dream was beautiful while it lasted; gossamer wings flashing in the sunlight.
Heh, it all happened so fast; triggered off by an impossibly inane sequence of events. I won't go so far to say that it's over; and it's good that over the past day or so; I've thought hard - and not to mention fast - about what I want to do, and more importantly, how I'm going to achieve it. Directionality, so to speak. So I'll let it go with a hint of regret; that things couldn't be taken further, that perhaps I didn't work hard enough in the past to warrant its fruition.
The past is over; the present is now, and the future is looming. Now I guess it's time to summon that energy to face it.
That aside, expectations can be pretty harmful at times. Even though you know those expectations can be totally unfounded, utterly groundless; it's in my nature - or human nature even, perhaps - to harbour hope. And y'know, the more you expect, the more you set yourself up for disappointment.
Yet I've got to admit that it's when you harbour those wildly unjustified expectations, and when someone against the odds comes through on them for you; that you feel a giddy sense of excitement, a wordless gratitude. I don't ask this of everyone, most of the time, I don't ask for anything at all. It's only those special few who get that dubious "privilege", and I earnestly hope they ask the same of me as well.
Heh, it all happened so fast; triggered off by an impossibly inane sequence of events. I won't go so far to say that it's over; and it's good that over the past day or so; I've thought hard - and not to mention fast - about what I want to do, and more importantly, how I'm going to achieve it. Directionality, so to speak. So I'll let it go with a hint of regret; that things couldn't be taken further, that perhaps I didn't work hard enough in the past to warrant its fruition.
The past is over; the present is now, and the future is looming. Now I guess it's time to summon that energy to face it.
That aside, expectations can be pretty harmful at times. Even though you know those expectations can be totally unfounded, utterly groundless; it's in my nature - or human nature even, perhaps - to harbour hope. And y'know, the more you expect, the more you set yourself up for disappointment.
Yet I've got to admit that it's when you harbour those wildly unjustified expectations, and when someone against the odds comes through on them for you; that you feel a giddy sense of excitement, a wordless gratitude. I don't ask this of everyone, most of the time, I don't ask for anything at all. It's only those special few who get that dubious "privilege", and I earnestly hope they ask the same of me as well.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
"You know you're an adult, not just when you're able to put the needs of others above your own, but when you're able to do it without giving a single thought to what they "owe" you in return. You realize that, at some point you weren't even aware of, you became the tap instead of the bucket. And then you look back and hate your younger self for living under the delusion that somehow a world full of buckets could function."
Really striking. And it saddens me to think that it's probably quite true that there will be some - or even many - who'll never really ever "grow up". Link's to the entire article, the quote's the penultimate paragraph.
I whittled away a merry hour or so reading this online novella called "Bartender" by DOB; a pretty cool writer at Cracked. Thought it was pretty hilarious, so I'll be linking it at the side. I'm not bothering with a synopsis cause I doubt I'd be able to do the story justice, so just click over to the first chapter and see if it's to your liking.
Disclaimer: Do not read if you absolutely abhor dick jokes and their ilk.
Edit: Or actually, even if you do, do take a look. Who knows, you may change your mind xP
Saturday, August 13, 2011
The interesting things one finds on the net xP
Focus on the "Sting Factor" column. I find it amusing how someone actually went to quantify the sensation of being stung by various bugs (not trying to be scientific here..) and actually came up with an index describing the exact sensation. I tried looking for the full article, but apparently that needs some paid subscription to some online journal library which I decidedly do not possess, so here's the wiki link instead: Schmidt Sting Pain Index
The scale goes from 0.0 to 4.0, with 0.0 being almost no pain at all, and 4.0+ being "Pure, intense, brilliant pain"; which does seem remarkably similar to that GPA system we had in RI, does it not?
Even more laudable is the way he goes about the business of getting stung by bugs like a true professional; going to painstaking lengths to describe each experience in excruciating detail. He seems like quite the connoisseur xP
One of the more interesting ones:
When describing an insect ranked 4.0: "...immediate, excruciating pain that simply shuts down one's ability to do anything, except, perhaps, scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations."
As a Bio student, and one having to come up with those sickening SPA Planning answers at that, I can't help but wonder: Did he bother with the repeats and replicates? To check for reproducibility of results, y'know.
Focus on the "Sting Factor" column. I find it amusing how someone actually went to quantify the sensation of being stung by various bugs (not trying to be scientific here..) and actually came up with an index describing the exact sensation. I tried looking for the full article, but apparently that needs some paid subscription to some online journal library which I decidedly do not possess, so here's the wiki link instead: Schmidt Sting Pain Index
The scale goes from 0.0 to 4.0, with 0.0 being almost no pain at all, and 4.0+ being "Pure, intense, brilliant pain"; which does seem remarkably similar to that GPA system we had in RI, does it not?
Even more laudable is the way he goes about the business of getting stung by bugs like a true professional; going to painstaking lengths to describe each experience in excruciating detail. He seems like quite the connoisseur xP
One of the more interesting ones:
When describing an insect ranked 4.0: "...immediate, excruciating pain that simply shuts down one's ability to do anything, except, perhaps, scream. Mental discipline simply does not work in these situations."
As a Bio student, and one having to come up with those sickening SPA Planning answers at that, I can't help but wonder: Did he bother with the repeats and replicates? To check for reproducibility of results, y'know.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
It's amazing the effect a couple of words can have on me. At the sight of them, my eyes perk up; my spirits liven; I settle down a little more into my chair (as much as is possible with a straight-backed one), and ready myself for a good read. And you rarely disappoint.
There's a certain spirit in that work, a certain dedication embedded, that I'd like to be able to replicate in mine. Yet, I don't think I'll be able to. I find what I write a little too self-absorbed, too audience-unfriendly, if you know what I mean (and you will, won't you, having read so much of this stuff).
Haha anyway, I messed up the SGC. Only realized it was due 7pm after asking Angela at 6.34. After that, I panicked, opened my mouth; and a stream of utter BS escaped from it, coalescing onto my computer screen. An exercise in pointlessness, is it not? To see who can get the least utility out of those 1800 characters. Characters, seriously. Like fine, penalize a guy for having a long name for all you want, and perhaps the readers have braved hypen-hell for too long, and requested, nay, demanded liberation from it. Maybe it's the only way to counter enterprising/desperate students who have done oh-so-much that they practically have to cram their SGC till it's bursting at the seams, and have resorted to excessive hyphenation, contractions, brackets, headers, footers and god-knows-what.
Hmmph but it's only when they get me to put things down on paper that what I've accomplished in my JC life appears to be so paltry and insubstantial. But screw them. If I've learnt anything, it's that JC life is about the experience; it's not a laundry list of things and stunning achievements. It's something that's greater than the sum of it's individual components, and it contains not only the quantifiable; but the unquantifiable as well. And well, prospective employers-to-be, if you miss out on all that because my SGC failed to impress; some might say it's my loss, I guess, but who knows, it could be your loss as well, nameless cog in the machine that I may be. Cause I'd make a damn good nameless cog.
I'm not making sense anymore, so it ends here.
There's a certain spirit in that work, a certain dedication embedded, that I'd like to be able to replicate in mine. Yet, I don't think I'll be able to. I find what I write a little too self-absorbed, too audience-unfriendly, if you know what I mean (and you will, won't you, having read so much of this stuff).
Haha anyway, I messed up the SGC. Only realized it was due 7pm after asking Angela at 6.34. After that, I panicked, opened my mouth; and a stream of utter BS escaped from it, coalescing onto my computer screen. An exercise in pointlessness, is it not? To see who can get the least utility out of those 1800 characters. Characters, seriously. Like fine, penalize a guy for having a long name for all you want, and perhaps the readers have braved hypen-hell for too long, and requested, nay, demanded liberation from it. Maybe it's the only way to counter enterprising/desperate students who have done oh-so-much that they practically have to cram their SGC till it's bursting at the seams, and have resorted to excessive hyphenation, contractions, brackets, headers, footers and god-knows-what.
Hmmph but it's only when they get me to put things down on paper that what I've accomplished in my JC life appears to be so paltry and insubstantial. But screw them. If I've learnt anything, it's that JC life is about the experience; it's not a laundry list of things and stunning achievements. It's something that's greater than the sum of it's individual components, and it contains not only the quantifiable; but the unquantifiable as well. And well, prospective employers-to-be, if you miss out on all that because my SGC failed to impress; some might say it's my loss, I guess, but who knows, it could be your loss as well, nameless cog in the machine that I may be. Cause I'd make a damn good nameless cog.
I'm not making sense anymore, so it ends here.
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Happy Birthday Singapore =)
I'll always love you, imperfections and all.
Heh, sometimes I wonder what love is, and isn't that the most simple answer? A connection shared, between you and me, of memories past, a future faced together; fates inextricably intertwined. Not begrudging of what flaws may be present, yet at the same time not accepting things as they are, challenging each other to challenge the status quo, to surpass current limitations and advance through mutual effort. It doesn't have to be rational - so many things in this world aren't anyway - it just is.
I didn't write about this earlier, but attending that NDP preview really helped me reaffirm my love for this country, which I think is a really important thing. I guess that deep down, as we go about our daily lives, we all know that for some reason or other, we all (most of us, at least) love Singapore, yet this love does tend to get drowned out by those everyday happenings - those small and not-so-small incidents that have been cause for concern - as well as a preoccupation with our individual lives. So cliched or lame as it may be, the NDP and on a larger scale, the celebration of National Day in my opinion, serves as a good reminder of the various things we love about this small island nation, and does a good job of unifying the people to tackle the challenges ahead, especially after recent potentially divisive/highly polarising events (read: the General Elections). So good call, PAP, and former MM Lee XD (cause I realized after a little googling that apparently the "emeritus" title is only applied to SM Goh? correct me if I'm wrong..)
I'll always love you, imperfections and all.
Heh, sometimes I wonder what love is, and isn't that the most simple answer? A connection shared, between you and me, of memories past, a future faced together; fates inextricably intertwined. Not begrudging of what flaws may be present, yet at the same time not accepting things as they are, challenging each other to challenge the status quo, to surpass current limitations and advance through mutual effort. It doesn't have to be rational - so many things in this world aren't anyway - it just is.
I didn't write about this earlier, but attending that NDP preview really helped me reaffirm my love for this country, which I think is a really important thing. I guess that deep down, as we go about our daily lives, we all know that for some reason or other, we all (most of us, at least) love Singapore, yet this love does tend to get drowned out by those everyday happenings - those small and not-so-small incidents that have been cause for concern - as well as a preoccupation with our individual lives. So cliched or lame as it may be, the NDP and on a larger scale, the celebration of National Day in my opinion, serves as a good reminder of the various things we love about this small island nation, and does a good job of unifying the people to tackle the challenges ahead, especially after recent potentially divisive/highly polarising events (read: the General Elections). So good call, PAP, and former MM Lee XD (cause I realized after a little googling that apparently the "emeritus" title is only applied to SM Goh? correct me if I'm wrong..)
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Just gotta learn to say "No"
Waking up after a 5 hour alcohol-induced slumber, I guess I finally realize that I can't help everyone, no matter how much I want to be able to take away all that pain. Some people are blackholes, basically - you can keep on giving, putting in effort, and it won't make a difference. They'll keep sucking and sucking till you're dry. Nothing will change. Not one of my better experiences.
I saw this book in the RJ library about "vampires" while looking for this book by Machiavelli. But rather than being those sparkly shirtless Twilight vampires (I confess; I've never even touched the book or even let myself get close to a theatre screening the movie) it dealt with those vampires who prey on your emotions. And maybe I should take a look at that book sometime, cause it seems like I'm a sucker for them and their tricks (pun intended).
All it comes down to, eventually, is whether you think it's all worth it or not. And you know, as I walked away at 3.30 initially, I thought it really wasn't that bad at all. But after getting a sms from the aforementioned friend "Im nvr going out in grps again" who freaking organized the whole damn thing, and now having to do some catch-up on econs with a buzzing at the back of my head, I'm really questioning the value of what I've done. It isn't the first time, and idk whether it'll be the last.
I really want to be the kind of person who'd drop what they're doing to give a friend a hand, but it's really really irritating when that thought isn't appreciated (note that I'm not even talking about reciprocation; here I don't usually expect that much). It just makes me feel used, before being tossed aside.
I saw this book in the RJ library about "vampires" while looking for this book by Machiavelli. But rather than being those sparkly shirtless Twilight vampires (I confess; I've never even touched the book or even let myself get close to a theatre screening the movie) it dealt with those vampires who prey on your emotions. And maybe I should take a look at that book sometime, cause it seems like I'm a sucker for them and their tricks (pun intended).
All it comes down to, eventually, is whether you think it's all worth it or not. And you know, as I walked away at 3.30 initially, I thought it really wasn't that bad at all. But after getting a sms from the aforementioned friend "Im nvr going out in grps again" who freaking organized the whole damn thing, and now having to do some catch-up on econs with a buzzing at the back of my head, I'm really questioning the value of what I've done. It isn't the first time, and idk whether it'll be the last.
I really want to be the kind of person who'd drop what they're doing to give a friend a hand, but it's really really irritating when that thought isn't appreciated (note that I'm not even talking about reciprocation; here I don't usually expect that much). It just makes me feel used, before being tossed aside.
Friday, August 5, 2011
In the here and now
Time is the great leveler.
In Time, even the greatest heights of passion may crumble,
In Time, even the most cavernous depths of sorrow may be filled in.
Joy dissipates, pain fades, eventually, as all is to dust.
Memory, perhaps, is all that we're left with, clung onto desperately,
but even that is merely transient as human existence.
Everything is nothing, in the face of Time.
And yet humans are nothing if not creatures of the present, albeit a little more future-orientated than most. Anything and everything is felt most intensely, no matter how short-lived it may be, as is the way things should be. For if we should pause to consider the significance of this temporal existence before that unstoppable juggernaut of Time, well there'd practically be nothing to speak of, now would there?
So I've decided to live in the here and now, take whatever may come, be it rain or shine, it's all beautiful. Cause beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and this beholder knows how undesirable the alternatives are.
I think I'm getting more and more incomprehensible, maybe a side effect of the drought of interaction :D
In Time, even the greatest heights of passion may crumble,
In Time, even the most cavernous depths of sorrow may be filled in.
Joy dissipates, pain fades, eventually, as all is to dust.
Memory, perhaps, is all that we're left with, clung onto desperately,
but even that is merely transient as human existence.
Everything is nothing, in the face of Time.
And yet humans are nothing if not creatures of the present, albeit a little more future-orientated than most. Anything and everything is felt most intensely, no matter how short-lived it may be, as is the way things should be. For if we should pause to consider the significance of this temporal existence before that unstoppable juggernaut of Time, well there'd practically be nothing to speak of, now would there?
So I've decided to live in the here and now, take whatever may come, be it rain or shine, it's all beautiful. Cause beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and this beholder knows how undesirable the alternatives are.
I think I'm getting more and more incomprehensible, maybe a side effect of the drought of interaction :D
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
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