Such a disappointing game, y'know having 4 CBs doesn't mean you have to play ALL of them at the same time. Weird thing is the game was so flat that I don't even feel anger, just apathy. Seriously.
I know the last post was supposed to be continued, but I'm not particularly in a time-traveling kinda mood right now so that period of time will have to remain vacant for now.
I'm disappointed that other than that first training session 3 weeks ago, I haven't been able to shoot AT ALL. Yes, it's understandable that the weapons need to undergo maintenance, and not totally unexpected that they'd take longer than projected to be done. However, this irrational, demanding part of me can't help but be more than a little miffed that things have turned out the way they have, and that I won't be able to get my shooting fix, so there.
Complaints and random grouses aside, the past week's clinical posting/attachment has, to reuse a well-worn cliche, been an eye-opening experience.
Attached to the Endocrinology department, what we were exposed too wasn't all too different from what we'd seen at the polyclinic. Loads of diabetes cases, and issues with diabetes management, but really a step up in magnitude in the cases dealt with. If the attachment at the polyclinic mapped a patient's journey from their perspective, the hospital posting mapped their journey from the perspective of the various allied healthcare professionals. Sitting in on Sister Poh Leng's (a Diabetic Nurse Educator) consult with a particularly difficult patient who apparently had a personality disorder and refused to listen when told that his results showed he had diabetes, constantly denying it and taking a very combative stance towards her, I gained a healthy respect for the patience and dedication towards their jobs our nurses possess. It can be a very draining task, especially when she has patients coming in constantly having problems with their compliance and their conditions worsening, so to watch her be so patient in her attempts to suss out the reasons behind their noncompliance and to try to work out solutions with them was honestly very inspiring. Even more so was that after a 1 hour consult with a patient who had had to undergo an amputation and had certain other problems, and having shown the patient out of the room, she turned to us and said "These are the patients you have to take care of" and it was very evident from her tone of voice and the look on her face that she really empathized and felt for the patient's situation. It was a very visceral experience for me.
Having had opportunities to interact with and "question" some of the patients, both inpatient and outpatient, it soon became clear to me that treating patients, isn't as simple as prescribing medication and suggesting a diet plan and leaving it to them to comply. Sometimes it's not simply a matter of discipline. They may work long hours, have financial difficulties, or even be unable to eat properly because of other people at home, so understanding these, and also the fact that patients may not be entirely forthcoming about the whole picture without further prompting, or may at times opt to mislead rather than to reveal their noncompliance out of a fear of being judged is very important in working with them to manage their illnesses, especially chronic ones. An approach favouring collaboration over didacticism is required.
The ward rounds left me with mixed feelings. The ICU and HDU showed how strongly and tenaciously we're able to hang onto life, but had me wondering where/when we draw the line, beyond the very practical considerations of limitations in resources, which have the potential to open a whole new can of worms altogether with regards to ethical decisions which may have to be made. Whilst touring the wards, we met and interviewed a patient who had suffered from leprosy (the result of bacterial infections, curable now, hence its rarity in Singapore but insufficient awareness in the past means most of the inflicted who suffered permanent disabilities are often the elderly) earlier on, patients who had had amputations and suffered other complications as a result of poorly controlled diabetes and other victims of debilitating illnesses. One particular incident which sticks rather vividly in my mind was of visiting a Class C ward and seeing an elderly lady seated in a chair beside her bed. I couldn't really see whether she was restrained to the chair but she never got up, and had some kind of brace around her chest. She constantly moaned as if she were in pain, and complained; directed to I don't know who, that something was very tight and was hurting her, begging for it to be loosened. Very disturbed at the fact that noone seemed to be paying her any attention, I asked the doctor whether we should/could do anything for her. So turns out she had dementia which could have been aggravated by her surroundings; the pain might even have been psychological. But that did nothing to keep my heart from tearing to bits each time I heard her in that state, and it mustn't have been nice for the patients sharing the ward with her as well, I can't imagine what it must be like to experience that while trying to recover yourself :X I have to admit that having had little hospital experience prior to this, I was shocked by what I saw, what patients had to go through in their illnesses. I think it's important though, strange as this may sound, to hold onto this "shock", or at the very least, to not become desensitized to it, and take it as part of normal proceedings. I was a little surprised too, when in a patient's presence, our supervising doctor spoke to us very candidly about his/her condition, addressing us and not the patient, and prompting us with questions for him/her, almost as if the patient wasn't there. I understood, of course, that he was helping us to understand more about the patient's condition and to get us to think about where our line of questioning should lead, it simply felt a little awkward for all this to occur while another human being was hopefully not exactly suffering but lying ill right in front of me. I don't know whether it's something I will ever get used to and comfortable with.
Our visit to the dietician was both helpful and depressing, in that it illustrated just how hard it could be for even a relatively healthy young person to eat healthily, within the required amount of calories within a day, not to mention for a diabetic who would have to strictly control his/her blood sugar. It reinforced the understanding that calling for a change in lifestyle is not an easy task at all, and that any progress would have to be made step by step with the patient. I somehow can't shake the feeling that even if I knew I were leading an unhealthy lifestyle (which I AM), I would experience a lot of difficulty in even attempting to change my living and eating habits, which seem very ingrained in me.
No Conclusion here, nothing to see.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Still Alive
It's certainly been a busy couple of weeks, my birthday included. I'm twenty now! Now bereft of that -teen suffix, not quite sure how I feel about that yet. A progression along this general trend of greater personal responsibility perhaps, that I've been moving along since way back when perhaps. Hall life where I've been maintaining the balance between not falling behind academically, keeping up with my TBLs, while still able to get involved to some extent in hall activities & events, and making it down for shooting as well. I can get a little frustrated at times, because there's been loads of stuff I've been interested in joining but I've had to make a conscious effort to watch the things I'm committing myself to. "I don't have the time for this, I don't have the time for that, I'm afraid I won't be able to cope" a train of thoughts that doesn't make me the happiest person around. I'm sure it's something everyone else has to face too, so just think of this as a little groundless complaint of mine :)
That aside, it somehow feels like uni, and hall life as an extension of it, is teaching me how to be more generous, to accept the kindness of others and to open up as well. I can't say how touched I felt when Jean brought out a cake during our TBL group BBQ at her house last week, or when Steph and Jing Wen left a little something in my shoe rack for me, and when my "angel" got a small Starbucks cake delivered to me via proxy later that night too. It really made me realize how hardened I'd let myself become, a little cynical at times, which probably won't do me any good when I'm trying to go out to help people. I guess in part it's also because I'm not really used to receiving things from people all too often, to the point where I feel a little strange when people are being "too nice", you start to wonder about what they're really up to, or just a little weird-ed out. Idk. It's something different, something I'm not used to, which perhaps says more about me than them, and maybe it's a chance for me to learn and grow as a person too.
Now, where to go from here?
The previous week was polyclinic week, we went down to BBK Polyclinic to have a look at how the healthcare system operates, I'll be going down to TTSH next week as well, and also to speak to patients and staff there, not to actually delve into their illnesses and collect case notes but rather to get a feel for interacting with them, and to try to see things from their perspective, rather than being confined to seeing healthcare from solely a healthcare professional's one. Though I had my reservations about it initially, thinking that it'd be awkward, that I wouldn't know how to approach a patient, it actually turned out to be a surprisingly enjoyable experience. And I really did feel very privileged that upon hearing that I was a medical student (and seeing me in a white coat, which I'll admit does confer some undeniable legitimacy to the thing) most (if not all of them) were willing to spare me a few minutes of their time - even longer, in some cases where we just had a nice chat - to share a little about their conditions pretty openly and warmly, and well, were very willing to help us with whatever questions we had. And in return it was also impressed upon us that this trust had to be reciprocated with an awareness of our responsibility in not betraying that trust. Professional standards of practice and all that that have to be observed from day one even as a student. We traced the processes within the polyclinic, from registration to consult to payment, it's quite fascinating how the volume of patients is channeled. Having had a severely minimal exposure to the public healthcare system (or any healthcare, for the matter) prior to this, it was a real eye-opener. All that aside, polyclinic week also constituted a very welcome break from the cycle of mugging iLectures for TBL, doing practicals, practical results analysis followed by preparing for the next TBL again. We had a small BBQ at Jean's house, she's an amazing host, and it was quite interesting how the "feel" of her house really seems to reflect her personality, a function of upbringing perhaps? It was fun, just chilling and talking cock, and helped to relieve some tension which I hadn't even realized I had built up inside me. I managed to clock in some shooting training too, my form's starting to get better, and the feeling's starting to come back, just a little
My best card so far, I shouldn't be too happy about this but I am, which is perhaps why I tend not to perform so well :/
I don't even recall what I was up to the rest of that week, were there any hall events? I honestly have no idea, so I'll leave it at that.
Went out with JAM that Saturday, a pretty common thing, except overshadowed, for me at least, by the realization that pretty soon, or soon enough, we'll be pretty much scattered around the globe, with Merv having gotten accepted to Australia (gratz!), Amos going off to UPenn next year (still loads of time there) and Jack flying off to London today. It really brings to mind how much of a state of transition we're all in, with my future having gradually come into focus after getting into LKC, and as for the rest, paths unfolding before them with varying degrees of certainty, as we prepare ourselves to move on to another stage of life. Nothing is ever certain, only the fact that things will never be quite the same. Change is the only constant.
Off to the airport in awhile for the send off, TBC later.
That aside, it somehow feels like uni, and hall life as an extension of it, is teaching me how to be more generous, to accept the kindness of others and to open up as well. I can't say how touched I felt when Jean brought out a cake during our TBL group BBQ at her house last week, or when Steph and Jing Wen left a little something in my shoe rack for me, and when my "angel" got a small Starbucks cake delivered to me via proxy later that night too. It really made me realize how hardened I'd let myself become, a little cynical at times, which probably won't do me any good when I'm trying to go out to help people. I guess in part it's also because I'm not really used to receiving things from people all too often, to the point where I feel a little strange when people are being "too nice", you start to wonder about what they're really up to, or just a little weird-ed out. Idk. It's something different, something I'm not used to, which perhaps says more about me than them, and maybe it's a chance for me to learn and grow as a person too.
Now, where to go from here?
The previous week was polyclinic week, we went down to BBK Polyclinic to have a look at how the healthcare system operates, I'll be going down to TTSH next week as well, and also to speak to patients and staff there, not to actually delve into their illnesses and collect case notes but rather to get a feel for interacting with them, and to try to see things from their perspective, rather than being confined to seeing healthcare from solely a healthcare professional's one. Though I had my reservations about it initially, thinking that it'd be awkward, that I wouldn't know how to approach a patient, it actually turned out to be a surprisingly enjoyable experience. And I really did feel very privileged that upon hearing that I was a medical student (and seeing me in a white coat, which I'll admit does confer some undeniable legitimacy to the thing) most (if not all of them) were willing to spare me a few minutes of their time - even longer, in some cases where we just had a nice chat - to share a little about their conditions pretty openly and warmly, and well, were very willing to help us with whatever questions we had. And in return it was also impressed upon us that this trust had to be reciprocated with an awareness of our responsibility in not betraying that trust. Professional standards of practice and all that that have to be observed from day one even as a student. We traced the processes within the polyclinic, from registration to consult to payment, it's quite fascinating how the volume of patients is channeled. Having had a severely minimal exposure to the public healthcare system (or any healthcare, for the matter) prior to this, it was a real eye-opener. All that aside, polyclinic week also constituted a very welcome break from the cycle of mugging iLectures for TBL, doing practicals, practical results analysis followed by preparing for the next TBL again. We had a small BBQ at Jean's house, she's an amazing host, and it was quite interesting how the "feel" of her house really seems to reflect her personality, a function of upbringing perhaps? It was fun, just chilling and talking cock, and helped to relieve some tension which I hadn't even realized I had built up inside me. I managed to clock in some shooting training too, my form's starting to get better, and the feeling's starting to come back, just a little
My best card so far, I shouldn't be too happy about this but I am, which is perhaps why I tend not to perform so well :/
I don't even recall what I was up to the rest of that week, were there any hall events? I honestly have no idea, so I'll leave it at that.
Went out with JAM that Saturday, a pretty common thing, except overshadowed, for me at least, by the realization that pretty soon, or soon enough, we'll be pretty much scattered around the globe, with Merv having gotten accepted to Australia (gratz!), Amos going off to UPenn next year (still loads of time there) and Jack flying off to London today. It really brings to mind how much of a state of transition we're all in, with my future having gradually come into focus after getting into LKC, and as for the rest, paths unfolding before them with varying degrees of certainty, as we prepare ourselves to move on to another stage of life. Nothing is ever certain, only the fact that things will never be quite the same. Change is the only constant.
Off to the airport in awhile for the send off, TBC later.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Shooting Stuff Once Again
I honestly can't recall when my last post was, and that's a bad thing. Somehow I can't find it in me to compose a post while in hall, be it a consequence of a whole host of activities, there's always something that seems to take precedence, or perhaps because as much as I love having SH as my roommate, it does make for some little awkwardness when it comes to composing my thoughts in privacy. Weekends seem to pass in a blur, too much to do, too little time, so all I have are these rare moments to sit down, take a deep breath and attempt, to varying degrees of success, to recall and reflect over the things that have happened.
Let's start with the most striking one first.
On my way to DnD at the Marina Mandarin yesterday, a lady taming the bus I was on suddenly collapsed. She was sitting in the middle of the last row of seats at the back of the bus, so she toppled, face forwards, landing heavily on the floor. It wasn't simply fainting; her whole body started convulsing, I think she actually managed to bite her dentures so hard that they cracked, shards lying on the floor, everyone, myself included, was stunned. I got down beside her, but didn't quite know what to do; if I turned her around, was there a chance she'd choke from anything inside her mouth? But leaving her facedown there couldn't be a good thing as well. And I was, I must admit, more than a little afraid to touch her, she was shaking so, so, badly. Another middle-aged guy came over, and together we turned her onto her back, hands supporting her head. Her teeth were locked together, the inside of her mouth seemed to be lacerated, blood bubbling out of it. We frantically got someone to call an ambulance, and asked around for something to slot inbetween her teeth, some packets of tissue, a Tupperware lid, but her teeth were clenched together so tightly that they couldn't be pried apart. Fortunately she didn't seem to have bitten onto her tongue. So all we could do was squat there and support her head, hoping frantically that she'd be okay, waiting for the ambulance to come. The convulsions stopped after a minute or so, we called out to her to no response. "Are you okay?" "Do you understand what I'm saying?" "Do you know what happened to you?" In English and Chinese. An eternity passed. She gradually regained consciousness, was able to move and sit up by herself, back facing us. She either couldn't or wouldn't reply to our questions. Time passed, she still seemed disorientated but was able to give us her name, at least. More time passed. I have no idea what the supposed response time for an ambulance to arrive is supposed to be, but what I'm saying is that that ambulance seemed to take forever to arrive, 10 mins at the very least, so I'm very thankful her condition didn't seem to be very critical. We stayed with her till the ambulance arrived, and the attendants took over, before finally alighting from the bus to continue the trip to YCK MRT. It's the first time I've got someone else's blood on my hands, probably not going to be too rare an occurence in the future given my chosen profession, but I hope I'll be able to react at least a little better should there be further occurrences in the unforeseen future. I found myself so helpless, not knowing what to do, and I'm not proud of myself for that, but not shying away and at least trying to help has to count for something, doesn't it? Thankfully she seemed fine.
Academically speaking, the past week has been a pretty chill one, a TBL session on Tuesday, which I spent the better part of Sunday and Monday preparing for - burning the midnight oil seems like a normal thing nowadays - a wholly unremarkable practical session; analyzing the rate of malate dehydrogenase catalyzed reaction via the production of NADH with the use of a spectrophotometer; repeating the same few steps over and over again to produce a set of results, we were damn shocked when there was an anomaly, apparently someone had forgotten to put in the NAD+ haha, and practical results analysis which can be summed up as "How to use Excel for Dummies" (which I am, unfortunately), MedSoc Exco elections on Thursday and a visit to Bukit Batok Polyclinic on Friday, a prelude to the upcoming week's attachment there. I don't feel like dwelling on how the election turned out etc, though class politics are always an interesting point of discussion, so I'll talk about the experience at BBP instead. Definitely an interesting experience; they have an area set aside on the third floor for our training, we started off with training re the 7 steps to a proper handwash, spent perhaps a little too much time on that but I guess it does help to reinforce the necessity for proper hand hygiene. That was followed up by some interaction with simulated patients, which I find a really cool aspect of the LKCSoM. The idea is that next week, we'll have to interact with actual patients in the polyclinic, so rather than have us go in wholly unprepared, they have specially trained actors for us to practice on as well as to give us feedback, letting us know what we did well, and also what we have to work upon. Apparently I have a little issue with personal space xP A very fun experience, which hopefully will help to do away with the intimation factor that's always present in novel interactions, and make me a lot more confident in speaking to and dealing with strangers and patients.
Now on to the fun part haha. I applied to join NTU's shooting club again, which may or may not be a lamb knowingly going forth to be slaughtered once more. I initially had all intentions of doing it on a purely recreational basis, but after going for the trials on Monday, they (and by that I mean some random senior whose name idek) told me the club doesn't really have enough shooters on the men's rifle team (and all the other teams for that matter =.=) and that I'd kinda be on the provisional and possibly even main team by default. Since that means that trainings are entirely FOC and the minimum training requirement is about 3 hours a week, which I'd more or less been planning to put in in the first place, I wasn't too resistant to the idea. Shooting once more after so long was simultaneously frustrating and enjoyable. So many aspects of my 动作 which I'd taken so long to iron out cropped up once more, and my mental weakness has exposed itself once more, idk whether I was half-expecting for all these problems to have miraculously vanished, but there they are again, familiar adversaries, as if they'd never left me (or I, them). Shooting is a struggle for me, has always been, perhaps will ever be, but maybe that's why I like it. It is probably the purest form of introspection, so I'll carry on with it and see how things go. At the moment, I'm just glad to say that I'm Shooting Stuff once more~
Let's see what I did for the rest of the week: Attended a couple of JCRC rallies, incredibly boring but I was obliged to turn up to support some friends, went for an Archery fun shoot after playing "Inter-house" Captains Ball and soccer with some of my classmates on Wednesday (scored a totally random game-ending goal when Marcel's clearance rebounded off my shin to trace a fine trajectory into the goal trolololol) unfortunately I doubt I'll be able to join Archery, fun as it seems, the training commitment (3x a week for comp, Fridays for recre) doesn't really work at all for my current schedule, it does seem like an awesome sport though, kinda makes me think about the could-have-beens, but that's all in the past now. Celebrated Melinda and Willis' birthday as an OG past midnight on Thursday, and that's about it. DnD on Saturday was possibly a huge waste of money, though I'll try to frame this as positively as possible. Somehow I just didn't find myself quite up to it, never really got into the mood to enjoy myself. Bleh.
Ok, I'm off for dinner and after that, the match versus ManU hahah it's probably the reason behind my decision not to "bookin" to hall tonight, who knows whether I'd be able to stream from there, and anyway tomorrow starts off at Novena so I can afford to make the trip from home.
I realize that of late I've been dealing with "events" rather than thoughts or feelings, I guess I haven't really found it within myself to reach within and splash it all out, so this'll have to do for now.
Let's start with the most striking one first.
On my way to DnD at the Marina Mandarin yesterday, a lady taming the bus I was on suddenly collapsed. She was sitting in the middle of the last row of seats at the back of the bus, so she toppled, face forwards, landing heavily on the floor. It wasn't simply fainting; her whole body started convulsing, I think she actually managed to bite her dentures so hard that they cracked, shards lying on the floor, everyone, myself included, was stunned. I got down beside her, but didn't quite know what to do; if I turned her around, was there a chance she'd choke from anything inside her mouth? But leaving her facedown there couldn't be a good thing as well. And I was, I must admit, more than a little afraid to touch her, she was shaking so, so, badly. Another middle-aged guy came over, and together we turned her onto her back, hands supporting her head. Her teeth were locked together, the inside of her mouth seemed to be lacerated, blood bubbling out of it. We frantically got someone to call an ambulance, and asked around for something to slot inbetween her teeth, some packets of tissue, a Tupperware lid, but her teeth were clenched together so tightly that they couldn't be pried apart. Fortunately she didn't seem to have bitten onto her tongue. So all we could do was squat there and support her head, hoping frantically that she'd be okay, waiting for the ambulance to come. The convulsions stopped after a minute or so, we called out to her to no response. "Are you okay?" "Do you understand what I'm saying?" "Do you know what happened to you?" In English and Chinese. An eternity passed. She gradually regained consciousness, was able to move and sit up by herself, back facing us. She either couldn't or wouldn't reply to our questions. Time passed, she still seemed disorientated but was able to give us her name, at least. More time passed. I have no idea what the supposed response time for an ambulance to arrive is supposed to be, but what I'm saying is that that ambulance seemed to take forever to arrive, 10 mins at the very least, so I'm very thankful her condition didn't seem to be very critical. We stayed with her till the ambulance arrived, and the attendants took over, before finally alighting from the bus to continue the trip to YCK MRT. It's the first time I've got someone else's blood on my hands, probably not going to be too rare an occurence in the future given my chosen profession, but I hope I'll be able to react at least a little better should there be further occurrences in the unforeseen future. I found myself so helpless, not knowing what to do, and I'm not proud of myself for that, but not shying away and at least trying to help has to count for something, doesn't it? Thankfully she seemed fine.
Academically speaking, the past week has been a pretty chill one, a TBL session on Tuesday, which I spent the better part of Sunday and Monday preparing for - burning the midnight oil seems like a normal thing nowadays - a wholly unremarkable practical session; analyzing the rate of malate dehydrogenase catalyzed reaction via the production of NADH with the use of a spectrophotometer; repeating the same few steps over and over again to produce a set of results, we were damn shocked when there was an anomaly, apparently someone had forgotten to put in the NAD+ haha, and practical results analysis which can be summed up as "How to use Excel for Dummies" (which I am, unfortunately), MedSoc Exco elections on Thursday and a visit to Bukit Batok Polyclinic on Friday, a prelude to the upcoming week's attachment there. I don't feel like dwelling on how the election turned out etc, though class politics are always an interesting point of discussion, so I'll talk about the experience at BBP instead. Definitely an interesting experience; they have an area set aside on the third floor for our training, we started off with training re the 7 steps to a proper handwash, spent perhaps a little too much time on that but I guess it does help to reinforce the necessity for proper hand hygiene. That was followed up by some interaction with simulated patients, which I find a really cool aspect of the LKCSoM. The idea is that next week, we'll have to interact with actual patients in the polyclinic, so rather than have us go in wholly unprepared, they have specially trained actors for us to practice on as well as to give us feedback, letting us know what we did well, and also what we have to work upon. Apparently I have a little issue with personal space xP A very fun experience, which hopefully will help to do away with the intimation factor that's always present in novel interactions, and make me a lot more confident in speaking to and dealing with strangers and patients.
Now on to the fun part haha. I applied to join NTU's shooting club again, which may or may not be a lamb knowingly going forth to be slaughtered once more. I initially had all intentions of doing it on a purely recreational basis, but after going for the trials on Monday, they (and by that I mean some random senior whose name idek) told me the club doesn't really have enough shooters on the men's rifle team (and all the other teams for that matter =.=) and that I'd kinda be on the provisional and possibly even main team by default. Since that means that trainings are entirely FOC and the minimum training requirement is about 3 hours a week, which I'd more or less been planning to put in in the first place, I wasn't too resistant to the idea. Shooting once more after so long was simultaneously frustrating and enjoyable. So many aspects of my 动作 which I'd taken so long to iron out cropped up once more, and my mental weakness has exposed itself once more, idk whether I was half-expecting for all these problems to have miraculously vanished, but there they are again, familiar adversaries, as if they'd never left me (or I, them). Shooting is a struggle for me, has always been, perhaps will ever be, but maybe that's why I like it. It is probably the purest form of introspection, so I'll carry on with it and see how things go. At the moment, I'm just glad to say that I'm Shooting Stuff once more~
Let's see what I did for the rest of the week: Attended a couple of JCRC rallies, incredibly boring but I was obliged to turn up to support some friends, went for an Archery fun shoot after playing "Inter-house" Captains Ball and soccer with some of my classmates on Wednesday (scored a totally random game-ending goal when Marcel's clearance rebounded off my shin to trace a fine trajectory into the goal trolololol) unfortunately I doubt I'll be able to join Archery, fun as it seems, the training commitment (3x a week for comp, Fridays for recre) doesn't really work at all for my current schedule, it does seem like an awesome sport though, kinda makes me think about the could-have-beens, but that's all in the past now. Celebrated Melinda and Willis' birthday as an OG past midnight on Thursday, and that's about it. DnD on Saturday was possibly a huge waste of money, though I'll try to frame this as positively as possible. Somehow I just didn't find myself quite up to it, never really got into the mood to enjoy myself. Bleh.
Ok, I'm off for dinner and after that, the match versus ManU hahah it's probably the reason behind my decision not to "bookin" to hall tonight, who knows whether I'd be able to stream from there, and anyway tomorrow starts off at Novena so I can afford to make the trip from home.
I realize that of late I've been dealing with "events" rather than thoughts or feelings, I guess I haven't really found it within myself to reach within and splash it all out, so this'll have to do for now.
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