Late night posts don't exactly lend themselves towards a banal recount of the week's happenings; now do they? So I'll leave that as a draft for now, pursuant to when I'm in the mood to complete it.

I feel set adrift in time. Without the definition of a concrete deadline (the one on 31st Jan aside), the days blur into each other; literally even, given my current sleeping pattern. Weekdays may as well be weekends; discounting TV scheduling of course! It's a very carefree feeling.

And it's when things intrude upon this that it becomes particularly jarring. With certain things coming up; I've been having to consider what I want to do, really. Yet there's also the distinct possibility of thinking myself into inaction, where I basically vacillate between the options till I'm forced to make a choice; where I inevitably pick the easier, less troublesome (and potentially less rewarding) one as I haven't the time to prepare myself for the other. I've got a few days left for this one, so I'd better start working on it.

I've been given free reign to do practically whatever I want these past few weeks; but I've also been realizing that I can't/shouldn't simply reject the outside world because of some perceived entitlement to enjoyment, relaxation etc following the A levels and before entering NS in a month's time. And yet when I see the fractures in relationships; the tensions and dissatisfaction that have accumulated; and find myself powerless to do anything about them, I feel like just looking away, busying myself with something or another, to avoid thinking about it. The proverbial ostrich with its head buried in the sand. Or maybe it's that this current state of affairs has been sustained for so long that it no longer features strongly in my mindscape, regardless of its severity. Kinda like how relations between N. and S. Korea are pretty bad right now, yet mending them doesn't feature too strongly on the global agenda as it's shown itself to be something able to be set aside and left on slow boil (at least for now) in the face of more pressing problems.

Why do we have to bear things which are unbearable? Does doing so make us that much stronger? Really?

"That which does not kill us can only maim us for life"
- A wise man

Small incident that occurred some time ago has served to fuel my belief that relationships in general are all give and take. There are so-called "bad" sides to everyone (subjectively speaking); say, a friend. You've just gotta weigh the bad against how much you value the person and well..make a decision as to whether you'll want to go on or not. It's all about what you're willing and able to accept and what you just can't accept no matter what.

Of  course; society tends to make things much more complicated.