Went back to Safra; chatted with coach a little; collected my suit and went off for dinner.
I thought I'd feel something more; revisiting a place of accumulated memories; yet I couldn't help but feel that it's moved on without me; and I've moved on without it. Not just the range; but the sport itself. How was it that in just the span of a few months of being apart that the emotions have become so muted? I remember back then excitedly talking about how I would pick it back up after the As; possibly buy my own gun and so on; and yet now when Coach just casually posed me the question; all I could give was some non-committal response. Kinda makes me feel like all that self-conflict and feelings provoked last time were all so shallow and superficial.
Maybe the lesson then is that no matter how much you may love or have a passion for something; if no effort is dedicated to sustaining it; time will gradually and steadily erode it; until it becomes a mere vestige of its former self.
But to me at least; this begs the question: If so, if we can "get over" pretty much anything in time with minimal feeling of lost; as we also lose the capacity to actually care that we no longer care about it; how do you know what's worth fighting for; what's worth dying for?
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