I was wrong, I now realize. Maturity isn't about being right; it isn't about justice. It is about being able to set aside the ego and adopting a conciliatory position. Sounds easy; I guess, but it's incredibly hard in practice; for me at least. Perhaps because I'm still immature. I suppose it's also about knowing how to pick your fights; when in the passion of youth, we tend to get so hung up about every little thing, when sometimes it's best to just let go. It is about compromise - and not merely a grudging acceptance either - a concept which I notice is strangely foreign to; or even regarded as poisonous by so many of my peers.
Farewell assembly wasn't as poignant an experience as I had expected; particularly in contrast to our Sec 4 graduation. Perhaps in part due to the repeated stabbing of my heart and wrenching of the knife around to consign myself to the mugging mentality; but more likely because it doesn't really seem like it's over lol. Next week; I'll be going back to school same as always; attending lectures, taking mock tests. Probably so caught up in the general A's mood that it hasn't hit me that hard yet.
Currently; all that I can ponder about is the question: Is this the end of my destiny with RI?
Yes; "Once a Rafflesian; always a Rafflesian", or so they say. Yet I can't shake this nagging suspicion that the powers that be would be much less welcoming of the - let's say less illustrious - of their alumni.
And I must admit that after 6 years of being a Rafflesian, I still find myself struggling to grasp the essence of the "Rafflesian Spirit". It's glaringly obvious that throughout these 6 years; incessant attempts have been made to forcefeed us with the entire ideal "package" that's currently in vogue. But is that it? Somehow I don't think so. To me at least; the Rafflesian Spirit isn't something so trivial that it can be summed up in a catchy little tagline that even our teachers find themselves unable to repeat with conviction. Nor is it the mere experience of passing through the school system; while there is no denying that we are horribly privileged, there's not much difference content-wise from our "competitors", is there? Heh, this may sound horribly cheesy; and may reek of elitism - I don't know - but I think that a lot of the significance is historical; an inherited legacy. I felt it most strongly from my PSLs during Sec 1 Orientation and it just stuck with me I guess. A feeling of responsibility not only in the way you carry yourself but also to society, and towards those that come after you. You just kind of receive that "message" from those that come before; and it's your job to carry it out; and in doing so; you exemplify it and pass it on.
It's something ageless like that; flowing from past to present; form changed, perhaps, but undiluted in essence that I find myself truly in awe of. And being part of it's continuity - although my name will be neither recorded nor remembered - is to me; a great honour. And responsibility; of course, never forget that.
It is the prerogative - and indeed expected - of old timers to complain about the modern state of decline. And maybe it's true that we're losing the spirit; as we pursue individual excellence. But I don't think so.
I remember this little joke that Sherri mentioned during her exco election speech:
A panda walks into a bar; orders some bamboo, gobbles it down; then pulls out a gun and kills the person seated beside it before making its way out. As it walked out; the bartender summoned his
courage and timidly asked it; why in the world did you do that?
In response; the panda pulls out a dictionary and flips to Panda: Eats shoots and leaves.
A horrible pun,certainly, but I think none/few of us were like the panda, who took its fill of what the bar had to offer; and caused trouble before leaving promptly. We've received substantially; true, but I'm certain we've given back in our own capacities as well. Haha and if you haven't, there's still time; if not before the As, then after :D
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