Played for MR in the Chinese Chess IHC today. We won 2 of our lineups, drawed 2 and lost 1 to come in third. And personally, I didn't lose a single match at all! But I felt really guilty about my wins, since 2 of them were against newbs, like I managed to win this guy in 30 seconds with a 双炮将 which is literally the oldest trick in the book =/ like seriously, I used to keep winning my bro with it when he was in P4 I think till he finally wised up to it. I even had 1 walkover cause the other guy I was meant to play against had to leave. My final 2 wins weren't  quite as easy, but they weren't rightfully mine either >_< In the second last match, I was down on pieces after an unwise trade-off. I persevered however, and managed to stave death off for more than 10 mins to win by time. In the last, I made the EXACT SAME UNWISE TRADEOFF, but managed to grasp victory through a total cheapo. So today wasn't the most trying session I've ever had, but it was quite fun, despite the ever-present feeling of guilt T.T Hope I didn't quench any budding passions for chess today.

I think I'm gradually finding the motivation to start working, but it's so troublesome and time-consuming. Maybe it's just because I'm slow, but I took almost an hour to do the Math Assignment and just forever to get any work done. Is that how it's supposed to be? Any advice? =/
Even though I stay back quite a bit, I really don't know if I have what it takes to devote that amount of time to work, other commitments not-withstanding.


While it may not seem that way to others, I find myself becoming more distant, aloof and detached, and there's been a resurgence of my cynical side of late. Sometimes it seems like it's a cyclical kind of thing, but I don't really want to fall into this rut all over again.

Else there'd be no proof of advancement, would there?