Idk why, but I seem to be irrationally confident in the power of my "nitro boost" -.- hope I've not doomed myself

I'm 18 now, for all that it's worth. Quite a bit later than most of you, I'm sure. Legal to drink, attempt to drive, and...I'm not sure what else, actually. Heh and don't feel any different, of course. There's no impressive coming of age ritual/trial unlike some rainforest tribe where boys have to put on sleeves with bullet ants sewn into them, stingers inwards and bear the agony of hundreds of stings, each of which feels like "being shot with a gun" in order to be considered a man. Go figure. Here in "civilization", transitions are alot less clear cut: We have 10 year olds bearing the responsibility of grownups and "adults" who continue to act like kids.

Had a small but enjoyable celebration at home (we dined out at Fish & Co during the weekend) and it was quite heartfelt for me I guess. One of my sisters even went to the trouble of putting together a short slideshow (she's random and sweet like that) which wasn't that awesome but very appreciated XD

And well, something just a little related that I've been thinking is that I've been really fortunate and lucky that I've grown up knowing what it's like to be loved. Haha and I realize I complain about my family more than a little, but then there's all those small and not-so-small random gestures (which would sound incredibly strange to an outsider if I bring them up in normal convos) infused with a wordless love and care. Having received so much from both my nuclear and extended family, there's a feeling of wanting to share it with someone. I think I'm not that great at transmitting those wordless thoughts (for lack of a better word) though, which is a pity; cause though they always say that it's the thought that counts, how's the recipient supposed to know your thoughts to know whether they count unless you're able to adeptly convey them? :S Effective communication seems to be a general weakness in my family; and a major source of misunderstandings at times...we're able to get along perfectly well; then one of us opens our mouth, makes a passing comment - sometimes jokingly - which is then latched onto by someone else and the thing suddenly gets confrontational; may escalate into an argument and the mood gets really disgusting.

Probably something I should work on if I ever hope to have my intentions be understood; though sometimes, I may not even understand them myself xP