I need a more favorable gauge of my degree of screwed-ness. Currently I'd have to convert it into the log scale in order to visualize what I have managed to cover against the mountain of what's actually left. That's probably one of the reasons why I've steadfastly refused to post anything about my progress with mugging up till now. Avoidance FTW.


Well, to be more positive, let's talk about something I've learnt these past few weeks of "hols". Sadly, the lesson wasn't experienced firsthand, but rather what I've observed from my brother. I know I don't talk bout my family much, so I'll excuse the surprise (if any). Well basically, it's that there are no real boundaries to what we can do in this world. Or maybe I should add the following qualifier, to avoid damaging people's pride and sensibilities: I, at least where I am currently, am far from pushing my limits; that is to say, to use an econs analogy; that I'm not even operating on the intermediate range of that AS curve, there is still a shitload of spare capacity left to exploit.

So it really makes me feel that in most cases, (for me at least), the bars that appear to keep me in aren't made of iron and steel, not to mention cuendillar. In fact, they don't even exist at all. Rather, it is the lack of willingness that does me in; the alluring temptation of a warm hearth and good food (metaphorically speaking) that draws me in. So yeah, comfort zone, you get it, I guess. And sometimes, I lay the blame on my parents, for being too restrictive at times, being constant worrywarts and not being responsive to my desire to be independent. And I guess it's true, to a certain extent. However, I can't blame them for parenting as they best know, right? And to be honest, my brother's been a bit of an inspiration to me - it's a little embarrassing to admit, mind you, I am supposed to be the elder one afterall -with the outgoing-ness, being able to just arrange something with friends and just going ahead with it without sweating all the small stuff (though that part may be simply attributed to our respective personalities) and most overbearingly,  the effort he puts in to change the status quo. Cause he wasn't like this just a few months ago. He was unmotivated, a layabout, etc, not really positive attributes, don't you think? He made good use of the transition to JC to change those things; imagine, if you will, something on the order of what you type in your list of New Year's Resolutions (if you're into that kind of thing); yeah, he's managed to do it. Heh, I guess if you read this, you could treat this as an weak-minded older brother's inferiority complex, but that'd be missing the point =)

I'll try to change, but in my own quiet way, since I've long since realized that those loud open declarations don't really work.

New aspiration: Cracked.com writer, or at least, to give it a shot :)