The near-frantic search for misplaced notes as I sought to gather my materials for the coming month kinda makes me wish I hadn't inherited my family's near-aversion to orderliness and organization. Was quite fail that the chem bonding notes I'd been turning the house upside down to look for ended up being with my brother - I lent them to him earlier in a rare moment of generosity and forgot all about it.

GP wasn't too bad - I hope, though there's never any way to tell, honestly. One of the first times I've written an essay I'm marinally satisfied with, that's good. My main problem's with that wretched Paper 2, my hand actually cramped towards the end as I was frantically trying to spam out the points. I had NO time to spend planning, and only just enough to glance at the passages, search wildly for any point, instantly generate some semblance of an idea and start writing immediately :/ It didn't help that I was feeling pretty sick that day.

Going out with the guys after that raised some hoo-hah at home, and that's probably cause I said too much while trying to be accountable and all that. Makes me regret it a little. The worst of it has passed though, things'll be just fine.

I hate how I've been on hair-trigger mode recently; though I may not necessarily show it, now its such that sometimes even the most trivial things can get me seething and my brain starts throwing out the most deplorable arguments and I become horribly cynical. I'm a little afraid of letting this side burst out uncontrolled though, despite the effort it takes to reign it in, cause I really don't want to lose/scare off my friends, I haven't got that many to lose, and I do treasure them, really.

"When we passed each other, she didn't deign to even say hello, ... ... How, then, can I believe that our parting caused her any tears?"
-Urdu poet Mirza Ghalib

Really resonates.