Pissed

I can't exactly express how pissed the unfolding of certain recent events have made me, nor do I think it would be a good idea to put it up on public domain, so I shall resort to making not-so-vague allusions to them instead. Those who know, will know, I don't really care.

It's amazing, really. With all the effort I put into it, and it being blatantly obvious to the person in question, I just don't see how he/she/it could still be trying to manipulate and railroad me into something that I obviously do not want. We've had frank talks before, and maybe I'm over-thinking things, but the only conclusion I can draw is that that person just has no respect for me nor my effort and wishes >.< I feel as if I'm pushing so much, alone, without any support except with the occasional prod along in the direction I don't really want to take, exploited for interests not my own. Somewhere in my heart, I wish otherwise, I wish for support in my endeavor, encouragement and attention.

Selfish perhaps, but I don't feel a modicum of any at all.

I've gone through this before -many times, in truth- and I'll probably have to go through this again; but I'm not jaded enough not to feel anything.

It hurts, this naivete of unfulfilled expectations.