Leap of Faith

I can't organize my thoughts into a coherent post, so here goes:

Elation that the As are almost over; yet consumed by a sense of lost-ness as well.

The removal of the "blinders" of our education system has let me see how vast this plain actually is. I'm the kind of person who doesn't fare well in an Open World RPG; where you aren't locked in by quests and targets (though there is a main storyline) as I tend to feel at a loss for what to do. You simultaneously want to do everything and yet stand in inaction cause you don't know what to start with, for fear of making a mistake.

I've got to rid myself of this fallacy of rightness, and quell this desire for a perfection that doesn't exist, lest I obtain the exact opposite of it. Cause it's so easy to just sit down and twiddle my thumbs (an overused cliche, I'm aware) while waiting for the "right" opportunity.


So, I'm unsure of exactly what it is I want to do; yet 6 years of formal education have at least shown me where my interests lie, which fortunately enough, I seem to have an aptitude for; unlike my unfortunate affair with shooting (though I haven't exactly given up), something which I am thankful for. Now the only thing holding me back is the worry of where these interests will bring me.

I like to know what I'm getting into, you see; and rarely is it that I can find the confidence to take a path without the slightest idea of where it leads. And yet now I must. Must let the winds of fate (another cliche!) sweep me up and carry me where they will and hope that Fate smiles upon me kindly.

And perhaps I can draw comfort within this uncertainty; that this is something all of us have to go through, a shared experience. And draw strength from the knowledge that I have the resilience (probably) to survive whatever buffeting the winds put me through.

Failing all; recent events have reassured me that I'll always have people to fall back on. It's quite inspiring, really, to see how family support each other in times of need; though we may bicker, quarrel, and make snide comments about each other at times.

The end of the As herald the end of one phase of life and the beginning of another. We set sail from the same port; this safe harbor of ours, for (relatively) uncharted waters.

And where we'll end up, nobody knows xP

I do sincerely hope though that our time together doesn't end here, and if we don't follow the same path, that our paths intersect frequently and joyously. Godspeed.

Rambling repetition; but that's what a blog's for, right? I certainly didn't produce an essay plan for this particular endeavor. I'll do a proper As roundup after Bio on Thurs; don't want to get ahead of myself.