Pistoler?

I got rejected for the external H3 I applied for. Don't think I'll be appealing.

I'll shoot pistol if I have to, but I won't like it.

It's funny. I started off this thing 5 years ago, a rifle shooter. After around 1/2 a year, coach got me to switch to pistol, which I shot for the next 4 years. There were ups and downs; and I never really did perform exceptionally. However, I was determined to overcome my problems and excel in it. That's why I continued with this sport in RJ after all. Then the unthinkable happened: For multifarious reasons that do not bear mentioning; I changed to rifle. I decided then, that I'd give it my all, but had reservations about it, and felt that "I could never love it as much as I did pistol". I even harbored thoughts of switching back to pistol after I graduated. But over the months since then; I've grown attached to this event, and my past career as a pistoler seems all so distant. I was satisfied. In fact, I still am. I've grown used to this event, and actually enjoy doing all that I can to improve in it. I want to reach 600, eventually.

So when coach asked me to pick up the pistol again, to shore up the boy's team if need be, I was understandably reluctant. But I still did it anyway, since that's probably my duty I guess. I accept that. And when I picked up the gun, all those challenges I had faced came back. And I'm unprepared to face them. I have to admit; I'm no longer a pistol shooter; the relevant muscles have degenerated from lack of use and my mental aspect is sorely lacking. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to go through with this, but I know that going in with this kind of mindset is the wrong thing to do. So I'll just give it my best whenever I'm doing it, train diligently. but I'm not going to pressure myself. That's all I can promise.