97 =) a little superficial, perhaps, but it proves i've shattered another wall, another ceiling. Now it's time to go on up.
Expunge the metaphysical aspect. Don't think so much about the "feeling", the "distribution of energy" and other abstract stuff. Nail it down to reality, the 4 core "principles" which coach just keeps on emphasizing. It works! Now to train my will, to be resolute and as hard as steel.
It's intriguing how things can seem so different after a mere 24 hours. Does the upswing really come that fast? Or is it just dependent on this mercurial mood of mine? Who knows.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The same starting point, all those years back.
But now I'm staring at your backs.
And can't help but wonder,
what is it that's been holding me back.
I'd rather it be lack of motivation, lack of drive, than the lack of talent, that I must deny.
And so I train and run, train and chase
To prove that I have, what it takes.
-Me
But now I'm staring at your backs.
And can't help but wonder,
what is it that's been holding me back.
I'd rather it be lack of motivation, lack of drive, than the lack of talent, that I must deny.
And so I train and run, train and chase
To prove that I have, what it takes.
-Me
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
If I were to express all my thoughts here, it'd fill up the whole page. Things're just that messy, just that convoluted, just that diverse. It's complicated. The hopes and aspirations I have with shooting, juxtaposed with the reality of things as they stand right now; the multitude of problems with PW as we've chosen a rocky path, which we find ourselves unable to complete coupled with the issue of directing a group of diverse personalities who aren't fantastic at working together to complete a task which just seems to grow in magnitude with every passing moment. The upcoming promos and the realization that I don't have it in me to push myself to a higher gear to face it in good stead. The inevitable reality that I'll have to cut down on training to start taking hold of my life; its spiraling out of control, headed in a direction I don't think is good at all. The uncertainty in interactions, the wondering, the loneliness, the fear of rejection, the appreciation of reliable friends. The above and more, all mixed into one package, all messed up, interlacing, tugging upon each other and getting hopelessly tangled up in my head. Tough.
Possibly because of this, I find that my emotions've been on a short leash of late. I get frustrated really easily, and despite my efforts to prevent it, it shows, especially at times when I can't afford for it to. I find my mind drifting ever so often to the "dark" side, falling into dark moods, thinking the worst of a situation, getting pissed off. I want control back, dammit!
Possibly because of this, I find that my emotions've been on a short leash of late. I get frustrated really easily, and despite my efforts to prevent it, it shows, especially at times when I can't afford for it to. I find my mind drifting ever so often to the "dark" side, falling into dark moods, thinking the worst of a situation, getting pissed off. I want control back, dammit!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Weiqi-filled day of AWESOME!
I participated in the Super Go Youth Challenge 2010 today and faced roughly 6 hours of unabated weiqi-ness, and yes, I know that's not even a word. I ended up playing 7 rounds, which is roughly 3x the total number of games I had ever played up till today. Entering as a novice in all senses of the words, I'm pretty lucky I didn't get devoured by all the "sharks" out there. I ended up winning 4 rounds out of the 7, which is a pretty commendable achievement if I must say so myself. But besides the scores, I've taken back a lot out of this experience.
During normal trainings, I'm usually very hesitant to place my seeds, as I'm afraid of making the wrong move, and constantly feel the need to check with the coach and the more experienced players as to their validity. This notion was thrown out of my head the moment my first match begins. Facing a ruthless opponent who's only desire is to cut your pieces apart and gobble you whole, you can't help but have more confidence in your moves, and to maintain your composure even when you're having a hard time withstanding the onslaught.
I also learned to maintain my focus. Blunders occur; that's a fact of life. It's what you do after the blunder, whether you're able to recollect yourself after that blunder and gear yourself towards salvaging the solution that determines victory or defeat. This happened to me several times. After making a mistake that cost me a corner, I had to retain my focus and composure and fight to the bitter end, eventually edging out my opponent to win me the game by a small margin. If I had resigned myself earlier, I would definitely not have been able to salvage the game.
Keep your pieces connected. Another important lesson, learned through several painful mistakes. sometimes a false eye just isn't going to cut it, and getting cut at a vital spot due to a moment's oversight can be a really painful experience indeed. In fact, this is what cost me victory in the last round, and my shot at an 8th place medal. So, don't make big moves, don't rush in brashly, and remember to keep those pieces connected. Only then will there be a solid framework to mount an attack from.
Since we were playing on the 13x13 board, the area is much smaller, and thus I realized the importance of capturing and securing the sides before fighting for the center area. However, this perception was violently challenged in my 6th game by a canny opponent who managed to push my lines to the side and capture the center. It was only through a stroke of inspiration that I managed to plant a group in his area that survived, thus giving me enough territory to win, albeit by a relatively small margin. It was a close game that really tested my composure and mental stamina.
Overall, I'm proud of my showing at the competition, since all the other competitors were part of the Singapore Weiqi Association Youth Connection and had significantly more support and experience. Although my first set was messy, I really learned from it and edged to victory in the second after my opponent missed something. I then dominated the flow in the third, only to lose in the fourth after a weak opening coupled with a series of bad decision. The fifth was a desperate scramble for territory which I just barely won, and the sixth was a mentally taxing battle of wits, where my opponent managed to bag some territory for himself and then proceeded to mount an admirable attack on mine. I held firm at the right and managed to take advantage of an oversight on his part to repel the attack, but succumbed to an attack on the bottom left corner, and missed out an attack on my left, thus causing me to lose by 8 moku. A pity, really.
These 7 games gave me lots of experience, and have made me more confident in myself. Though I know I've got a long way to go, I now know that not all players are like Miss Cho, a seemingly unshakable and infallible robot of a player. They make mistakes, just as I do, and if I'm alert, I'm able to capitalize on them to take the game. It's been a fun, fruitful and educational day.
As a side note, I suspect melancholy is creeping up on me. I don't know whether it's the loneliness, or the sense of disconnect and distance between myself and those around me, Should I ignore it? Perhaps it'll go away
During normal trainings, I'm usually very hesitant to place my seeds, as I'm afraid of making the wrong move, and constantly feel the need to check with the coach and the more experienced players as to their validity. This notion was thrown out of my head the moment my first match begins. Facing a ruthless opponent who's only desire is to cut your pieces apart and gobble you whole, you can't help but have more confidence in your moves, and to maintain your composure even when you're having a hard time withstanding the onslaught.
I also learned to maintain my focus. Blunders occur; that's a fact of life. It's what you do after the blunder, whether you're able to recollect yourself after that blunder and gear yourself towards salvaging the solution that determines victory or defeat. This happened to me several times. After making a mistake that cost me a corner, I had to retain my focus and composure and fight to the bitter end, eventually edging out my opponent to win me the game by a small margin. If I had resigned myself earlier, I would definitely not have been able to salvage the game.
Keep your pieces connected. Another important lesson, learned through several painful mistakes. sometimes a false eye just isn't going to cut it, and getting cut at a vital spot due to a moment's oversight can be a really painful experience indeed. In fact, this is what cost me victory in the last round, and my shot at an 8th place medal. So, don't make big moves, don't rush in brashly, and remember to keep those pieces connected. Only then will there be a solid framework to mount an attack from.
Since we were playing on the 13x13 board, the area is much smaller, and thus I realized the importance of capturing and securing the sides before fighting for the center area. However, this perception was violently challenged in my 6th game by a canny opponent who managed to push my lines to the side and capture the center. It was only through a stroke of inspiration that I managed to plant a group in his area that survived, thus giving me enough territory to win, albeit by a relatively small margin. It was a close game that really tested my composure and mental stamina.
Overall, I'm proud of my showing at the competition, since all the other competitors were part of the Singapore Weiqi Association Youth Connection and had significantly more support and experience. Although my first set was messy, I really learned from it and edged to victory in the second after my opponent missed something. I then dominated the flow in the third, only to lose in the fourth after a weak opening coupled with a series of bad decision. The fifth was a desperate scramble for territory which I just barely won, and the sixth was a mentally taxing battle of wits, where my opponent managed to bag some territory for himself and then proceeded to mount an admirable attack on mine. I held firm at the right and managed to take advantage of an oversight on his part to repel the attack, but succumbed to an attack on the bottom left corner, and missed out an attack on my left, thus causing me to lose by 8 moku. A pity, really.
These 7 games gave me lots of experience, and have made me more confident in myself. Though I know I've got a long way to go, I now know that not all players are like Miss Cho, a seemingly unshakable and infallible robot of a player. They make mistakes, just as I do, and if I'm alert, I'm able to capitalize on them to take the game. It's been a fun, fruitful and educational day.
As a side note, I suspect melancholy is creeping up on me. I don't know whether it's the loneliness, or the sense of disconnect and distance between myself and those around me, Should I ignore it? Perhaps it'll go away
Friday, August 13, 2010
PW's cropping up, and it seems like things're in shambles. Vague concepts which I can barely grasp, which Mr Koh keep talking about, just confuse me, and drive me further into desperation. It is at these times I see what kind of person I am, and oh my, I don't like myself one bit. When faced with adversity, the fight-or-flight response is only natural. Thus when driven into a corner, when the latter is taken out of the equation, taking up the former might seem to be intuitive to most. I am not one of them. I have come to realize that when driven into a corner, I try to fight. I try, but not with my best efforts. After that feeble effort, I just turn inwards, ignoring the source of adversity to the best of my ability. This disgusts me, but I don't really know what I can do about it. Fight?
Shooting posture's changed slightly, now I've gotta stand with my legs spread wider, and draw back my hip more. I can't really find where my elbow's supposed to go that well as of yet, and that's been giving me some trouble. But I realized that I don't have to get the location exactly right, just about there's good enough. If the alignment's off, just put the gun down and do it all over again. Patience's the operative word here xD. 3 phases after raising the gun: adjusting elbow positioning and basic body stability, then the phase before the cheek down action, where I put my cheek on the rest but don't go down fully. Feel that my left arm is straight and relaxed, and that my right shoulder's relaxed too. General feeling of body stability should be present too. After that, cheek down fully, while making sure that that feeling is unaffected, and that energy distribution isn't disturbed. Check alignment. Re-do if it's off. Just concentrate on that feeling and the awareness of the "energy" as I trigger.
And everything just goes round and round, round and round, up and down, up and down
And I can't help but wonder
Has anything really changed?
Shooting posture's changed slightly, now I've gotta stand with my legs spread wider, and draw back my hip more. I can't really find where my elbow's supposed to go that well as of yet, and that's been giving me some trouble. But I realized that I don't have to get the location exactly right, just about there's good enough. If the alignment's off, just put the gun down and do it all over again. Patience's the operative word here xD. 3 phases after raising the gun: adjusting elbow positioning and basic body stability, then the phase before the cheek down action, where I put my cheek on the rest but don't go down fully. Feel that my left arm is straight and relaxed, and that my right shoulder's relaxed too. General feeling of body stability should be present too. After that, cheek down fully, while making sure that that feeling is unaffected, and that energy distribution isn't disturbed. Check alignment. Re-do if it's off. Just concentrate on that feeling and the awareness of the "energy" as I trigger.
And everything just goes round and round, round and round, up and down, up and down
And I can't help but wonder
Has anything really changed?
Monday, August 9, 2010
Flying Blind
Sick, confused and feeling shitty. Not the best ingredients for a happy meal out there. But I'll make do.
Every step forward in shooting comes with great amounts of effort; I'm starting to feel the pain building up in my wrist, the dull ache in the small of my back, and the occasional muscle spasms in my left arm. And yet I persist. It makes me wonder, why do I do so? and I really have no answer.
And of life in general, what am I doing? What do I want? Such simple questions which I cant even begin to answer.
So many things impinging upon my happy zone, work, shooting, people, miscellaneous stuff, and they really make me question, make me wonder: Is happiness a state of mind, or just a feeling? I've always believed in the former, but these things are making it really hard to do so. These things tug inexorably upon my heartstrings, and no matter how hard I try to divorce them, it's an uphill task.
And we set out with so much conviction,
the flame burning brightly in our eyes.
But the print're barely cold,
the journey's barely begun,
And doubt's clouded our vision,
the flame's reduced to embers,
Is this all we had within us?
Every step forward in shooting comes with great amounts of effort; I'm starting to feel the pain building up in my wrist, the dull ache in the small of my back, and the occasional muscle spasms in my left arm. And yet I persist. It makes me wonder, why do I do so? and I really have no answer.
And of life in general, what am I doing? What do I want? Such simple questions which I cant even begin to answer.
So many things impinging upon my happy zone, work, shooting, people, miscellaneous stuff, and they really make me question, make me wonder: Is happiness a state of mind, or just a feeling? I've always believed in the former, but these things are making it really hard to do so. These things tug inexorably upon my heartstrings, and no matter how hard I try to divorce them, it's an uphill task.
And we set out with so much conviction,
the flame burning brightly in our eyes.
But the print're barely cold,
the journey's barely begun,
And doubt's clouded our vision,
the flame's reduced to embers,
Is this all we had within us?
Monday, July 26, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
My shooting's been off lately. Just can't get into that correct frame of mind of late, and my actions are getting pretty wild. I think I'm starting to lose my "happy medium" in life, and that just encroaches on me, in a bad way. Can't just leave things at this of course. I'll have to find some way to return to the basics somehow, and firm up those fundamentals. Haix.
It's a lonely road to walk, this road of life. And just when I thought I'd reached my destination, or at least a rest stop, I find that it's nothing but an illusion. The search for understanding goes on. and on and on. Life.
It's a lonely road to walk, this road of life. And just when I thought I'd reached my destination, or at least a rest stop, I find that it's nothing but an illusion. The search for understanding goes on. and on and on. Life.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Can't really remember what I did today. Chinese LC went ok I think, then the sports injury forum, which was really nothing much. Fun Fact: Doing static stretches before exercise actually increases your chance of getting an injury. Go figure. Stretching elongates your muscles while exercise gets them to contract. Apparently this is quite bad for them, increases chance of tearing and so on.
Shooting was good I think. My 基本功's a little bad so I couldn't get my elbow position right and my 指向 too. Sigh. 1 change to my action: Coach told me to lift it using my fist directly from the table without using my palm first then shifting to the clenched fist. Helps my consistency, really, though the bending down's more than a little uncomfortable. I want a tripod soon >.<
Shooting was good I think. My 基本功's a little bad so I couldn't get my elbow position right and my 指向 too. Sigh. 1 change to my action: Coach told me to lift it using my fist directly from the table without using my palm first then shifting to the clenched fist. Helps my consistency, really, though the bending down's more than a little uncomfortable. I want a tripod soon >.<
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
"There may be a thousand bad things you know about a person, but just one thing you don't know about them may change your opinion totally." -Some saying
It explains my cognitive process perfectly, really. It torments me at times, but I still stand by it.
People change. Circumstances change. We will face losses in life. Accept it. Accept these immutable truths and move on. Life has its ups too. We don't only lose, we also gain. All it takes is a slight change in one's psyche in order to gain a more...uplifting perspective of this existence, so why not give it a shot?
Ok, monologue over. Today's training was ok, though I had to press coach to get him to allow me to train with my arm as it is :/ I really think I'm using a "cheat code" of sorts. No matter how messed up my stuff is, as long as I manage that relaxation of my arm and shoulder, keeping the amount of energy used constant, I don't shoot too badly. I can't leave things at this though. If I wish to enter the dimension of 10s, to reach the very top, I'll have to be more demanding of myself, my actions and my gun. Push on!
It explains my cognitive process perfectly, really. It torments me at times, but I still stand by it.
People change. Circumstances change. We will face losses in life. Accept it. Accept these immutable truths and move on. Life has its ups too. We don't only lose, we also gain. All it takes is a slight change in one's psyche in order to gain a more...uplifting perspective of this existence, so why not give it a shot?
Ok, monologue over. Today's training was ok, though I had to press coach to get him to allow me to train with my arm as it is :/ I really think I'm using a "cheat code" of sorts. No matter how messed up my stuff is, as long as I manage that relaxation of my arm and shoulder, keeping the amount of energy used constant, I don't shoot too badly. I can't leave things at this though. If I wish to enter the dimension of 10s, to reach the very top, I'll have to be more demanding of myself, my actions and my gun. Push on!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Have you ever felt these moments where the face of someone you know momentarily seems completely different? Like a whole other person, really.
Stayed back in school to do my Chem tutorial today, I decided to give my arm a break (not literally of course) and take the chance to do a little of my work. I'll train tomorrow, I swear.
*Doing things with little thought or concern about the consequences. I wonder how it'll turn out? Might be interesting to behold xP*
Stayed back in school to do my Chem tutorial today, I decided to give my arm a break (not literally of course) and take the chance to do a little of my work. I'll train tomorrow, I swear.
*Doing things with little thought or concern about the consequences. I wonder how it'll turn out? Might be interesting to behold xP*
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Heh, I just screwed up my phone in a moment of rashness and impulsiveness. Contacts list is still pretty empty, so any smses with contact details + name would be much appreciated. Thanks in advance.
It's good in a way to leave behind all those "memories" I had stored in that little phone memory storage. Part of the general direction I suppose.
It's good in a way to leave behind all those "memories" I had stored in that little phone memory storage. Part of the general direction I suppose.
Yup, stitches. In what has got to be the most epicly fail moment in this short period of time on this planet, my shower door shattered, showering my mum, my brother and myself in a cascade of a thousand glittering shards of death.
Here's the story:
My bro was bathing when the door fell out, so he called us up to go help him with it. So we did. Turns out it was broken, so in a perhaps misguided bid to fix it, my mum got us to help to hold it up as she tried to put it together. As things would have it, the door is evidently not shatter-proof, nor does it seem like it can withstand a little flexing, cause as we were holding it, without much ado, it promptly shattered. Just like that, I swear. I was looking right at it when it happened. The sides just seemed to cave in as it imploded, the whole surface shattering and hanging there in the air for a moment before crashing down in this magnificent cascade of glittering shards. A waterfall of glass that just brushed past me. I didn't even feel any pain, actually. It was too fast for that. We were just absolutely shocked. Then I saw the blood dripping from my brother's arm. Drip drip drip. Dripping onto the glass bits on the floor, staining them this bloody red colour. It looked just like blood red rubies laying on the toilet floor. That was what struck me the most about that moment, actually. The slow dripping of his blood onto the glass.
Well, after much trouble and panicking on the part of my mother, we finally managed to extricate ourselves from that mess - not easy, believe me - and navigated our way through that minefield of glass laying on the floor. Turns out it was so forceful that pieces even flew across the master bedroom OTL On hindsight, we were really quite lucky we didn't sustain worse injuries, only some minor cuts and one that needed the stitches in the video above.
Now, onto the stitches. I actually told my father: "No way you're coming near me with a needle" but eventually succumbed. It's not bad, since they do do it under local anesthesia and it was administered sub-subcutaneously, thus there wasn't much sensation from the needle being inserted. What did hurt was my skin swelling up as the anesthesia accumulated under it. After that, there was this strange loss of sensation in my left arm, as the anesthesia took effect. I was oddly detached from my arm, and actually stared at my arm as the needle was poked through it, and it hooked the other side of the wound and came out again. Strangely fascinating and alluring. All I could feel was this feeling of something going through my skin, nothing else besides that. It's my first time getting stitches, not to mention in a spot I could stare at so easily, so I guess you can forgive my "obsession"
Yup, that's it.
As for training today, we shot 体会 after dry firing for awhile, and it was pretty crappy since I just couldn't get my 指向 just right, due to the angle of the gun and so on. But despite that, I still manage to do the whole relaxation upon the moment I 扣扳机 which is probably why I can shoot decently right now. After the 体会, we moved on to 单发, the first time I've done that for rifle. I shot out a 92, which isn't that good IMO, but not too bad a starting point to work from. Well, hopefully my stitches don't impede my training and I can do even better next time!
Eye-opening experiences, and I think I've jumped out of yet another well once again.
I used to think that doctor lawyer architect engineer were about the only career options to choose from, but scholarship day really opened up my eyes to so much more. It has showed me that things don't have to be so rigid, that your uni degree doesn't have to be in anything as specific as those mentioned above. In fact, even if you take a degree in something general like sciences its still possible to go to so many different agencies to work. Scholarship day has also opened me up to the possibility of working in the public sector. I used to be very close-minded about this, and was quite firm in my belief that I didn't, wouldn't, just couldn't take up a scholarship with a bond at the end of it, felt that it would be stifling, that an 18 year old just had no place making a decision that would change at least the next 8 years or so of his life. Well, now I know that things aren't as rigid as they originally seemed. They're pretty flexible, really. If after working for 2 years or so in XY department you feel that its not suited to you, or you just grow plain bored of working there, it's entirely possible to request to be transferred to another department without having to go through all the hassle of resigning and looking for employment elsewhere. Additionally, I don't think I've ever been the type of guy who's utterly obsessed with money above everything else, though more is always better, of course. I wouldn't mind serving this country in that capacity, and after talking to the people tending all those booths, it seems to me that the working environment is pretty fine, s'long as you're passionate about what you're doing, of course.
A;though I said everything above, and though I'm quite glad that several of my misconceptions regarding work in the public sector have been cleared up, I am aware that things may have been sugar-coated. I mean, its a presentation to potential scholarship applicants for crying out loud. They want as many applicants as possible, and thus would want to present as good an image to them, in order to attract them to their respective departments. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but just keep in mind that they may not have presented the full view of things =)
Went to survey condos at Bukit Timah with Clarissa after that for PW. After having some initial trouble locating the bus stop which was near Marymount (it's not my fault that streetdirectory.com made it look sooo close to Marymount station ok...) and missing our stop, we eventually got to Bukit Timah Shopping Centre. After lunch, and photocopying our surveys, we then immediately got into action. Nah, just kidding. We spent the next 10 mins or so just stapling those freaking surveys together. And at the end, there was one missing sheet, which actually foreshadowed what was to come (I'll talk more about that later)
AFTER that, we took the bus down to Hillview. We finally got there after missing our stop YET again, a very simple yet crucial question occurred to us: "Now what?" Just how could we get in past the security checkpoint at the entrance of the condo? Then a brilliant idea occurred to me *lightbulb!* to just walk past it like nobody's business. It worked, too XD The guard just sat there doing nothing as we walked in. Infiltration complete >.< However, once we were in, we were kinda shocked that we had actually managed it, and were totally at a loss as to what to do. Had we broken the law? Had we just committed a criminal offence? Were we now one of those trespassers who would be persecuted? I had no idea. Though the idea of simply ambushing residents and asking them to assist us in our project was extremely appealing, as I did not intend to get into jail at such a tender age, we eventually decided to roam around randomly looking for the management office. Perhaps THEY could assist us in this little misadventure. Then came the next hurdle in our quest for glory - management only opens for half the day on weekends !@#$@# So...after realizing we'd come all this way, even sneaked our way into this condo just in order to see management, only to have them closed because of this thing which we hadn't even considered, we were pretty eff-ed up, no? After much raging and subsequent deliberation, we decided to just leave a letter we had prepared to them asking for permission to conduct our survey there. Quite predictably, this had to screw up too. Remember that missing sheet of paper? Apparently, it was in Clarissa's yellow file, which she had coincidentally, just co-in-ci-dentally, left at the photocopying shop at Bukit Timah Shopping Centre. This file just happened to contain all her PW stuff, including the letter we had intended to submit. F-M-L. Awesome. They say that true human ingenuity only comes out in troubling times, and so was the case in this time. Faced with these multiple hurdles, with apparently no way to overcome them, we decided to change our plan, and just obtain the mailing address of the management office, so we could send the request letter in to them. We then left the condo, and spent the better part of an hour trekking up and down and around the nature reserve visiting the various condos we had marked out, just in order to obtain their addresses so we could send letters to them. I can't imagine how ridiculous the whole situation was XD There we were, walking straight up to a condo, and just plain telling the security guards we wanted to write a letter to its management, so could they please give us their address. WHEN WE WERE JUST IN FRONT OF THE THING. GRR. Really retarded >.< We couldn't have planned it any worse, really. Well, all said, the walk was quite enjoyable. The gentle breeze, the cool freshness of the air - except from the exhaust fumes from the cars on the road of course - , the peaceful chirping of the random critters in the area, and the sheer abundance of the greenery, which was really pleasing to the eye. I even spotted this kite/eagle/something standing on a tree, which was pretty cool, at least IMO.
At the end of it, we went back to the shopping centre, retrieved the file from the photocopying shop and just stoned at Mac's for awhile, talking about some retarded stuff before going home. The perfect end to a perfectly retarded yet strangely fun (for me) day.
As you can see, I'm still working on my narrating ability, so cut me some slack here, k?
"Special" training today by coach. Woohoo! It's all good.
I used to think that doctor lawyer architect engineer were about the only career options to choose from, but scholarship day really opened up my eyes to so much more. It has showed me that things don't have to be so rigid, that your uni degree doesn't have to be in anything as specific as those mentioned above. In fact, even if you take a degree in something general like sciences its still possible to go to so many different agencies to work. Scholarship day has also opened me up to the possibility of working in the public sector. I used to be very close-minded about this, and was quite firm in my belief that I didn't, wouldn't, just couldn't take up a scholarship with a bond at the end of it, felt that it would be stifling, that an 18 year old just had no place making a decision that would change at least the next 8 years or so of his life. Well, now I know that things aren't as rigid as they originally seemed. They're pretty flexible, really. If after working for 2 years or so in XY department you feel that its not suited to you, or you just grow plain bored of working there, it's entirely possible to request to be transferred to another department without having to go through all the hassle of resigning and looking for employment elsewhere. Additionally, I don't think I've ever been the type of guy who's utterly obsessed with money above everything else, though more is always better, of course. I wouldn't mind serving this country in that capacity, and after talking to the people tending all those booths, it seems to me that the working environment is pretty fine, s'long as you're passionate about what you're doing, of course.
A;though I said everything above, and though I'm quite glad that several of my misconceptions regarding work in the public sector have been cleared up, I am aware that things may have been sugar-coated. I mean, its a presentation to potential scholarship applicants for crying out loud. They want as many applicants as possible, and thus would want to present as good an image to them, in order to attract them to their respective departments. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but just keep in mind that they may not have presented the full view of things =)
Went to survey condos at Bukit Timah with Clarissa after that for PW. After having some initial trouble locating the bus stop which was near Marymount (it's not my fault that streetdirectory.com made it look sooo close to Marymount station ok...) and missing our stop, we eventually got to Bukit Timah Shopping Centre. After lunch, and photocopying our surveys, we then immediately got into action. Nah, just kidding. We spent the next 10 mins or so just stapling those freaking surveys together. And at the end, there was one missing sheet, which actually foreshadowed what was to come (I'll talk more about that later)
AFTER that, we took the bus down to Hillview. We finally got there after missing our stop YET again, a very simple yet crucial question occurred to us: "Now what?" Just how could we get in past the security checkpoint at the entrance of the condo? Then a brilliant idea occurred to me *lightbulb!* to just walk past it like nobody's business. It worked, too XD The guard just sat there doing nothing as we walked in. Infiltration complete >.< However, once we were in, we were kinda shocked that we had actually managed it, and were totally at a loss as to what to do. Had we broken the law? Had we just committed a criminal offence? Were we now one of those trespassers who would be persecuted? I had no idea. Though the idea of simply ambushing residents and asking them to assist us in our project was extremely appealing, as I did not intend to get into jail at such a tender age, we eventually decided to roam around randomly looking for the management office. Perhaps THEY could assist us in this little misadventure. Then came the next hurdle in our quest for glory - management only opens for half the day on weekends !@#$@# So...after realizing we'd come all this way, even sneaked our way into this condo just in order to see management, only to have them closed because of this thing which we hadn't even considered, we were pretty eff-ed up, no? After much raging and subsequent deliberation, we decided to just leave a letter we had prepared to them asking for permission to conduct our survey there. Quite predictably, this had to screw up too. Remember that missing sheet of paper? Apparently, it was in Clarissa's yellow file, which she had coincidentally, just co-in-ci-dentally, left at the photocopying shop at Bukit Timah Shopping Centre. This file just happened to contain all her PW stuff, including the letter we had intended to submit. F-M-L. Awesome. They say that true human ingenuity only comes out in troubling times, and so was the case in this time. Faced with these multiple hurdles, with apparently no way to overcome them, we decided to change our plan, and just obtain the mailing address of the management office, so we could send the request letter in to them. We then left the condo, and spent the better part of an hour trekking up and down and around the nature reserve visiting the various condos we had marked out, just in order to obtain their addresses so we could send letters to them. I can't imagine how ridiculous the whole situation was XD There we were, walking straight up to a condo, and just plain telling the security guards we wanted to write a letter to its management, so could they please give us their address. WHEN WE WERE JUST IN FRONT OF THE THING. GRR. Really retarded >.< We couldn't have planned it any worse, really. Well, all said, the walk was quite enjoyable. The gentle breeze, the cool freshness of the air - except from the exhaust fumes from the cars on the road of course - , the peaceful chirping of the random critters in the area, and the sheer abundance of the greenery, which was really pleasing to the eye. I even spotted this kite/eagle/something standing on a tree, which was pretty cool, at least IMO.
At the end of it, we went back to the shopping centre, retrieved the file from the photocopying shop and just stoned at Mac's for awhile, talking about some retarded stuff before going home. The perfect end to a perfectly retarded yet strangely fun (for me) day.
As you can see, I'm still working on my narrating ability, so cut me some slack here, k?
"Special" training today by coach. Woohoo! It's all good.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Thursday, July 15, 2010
AABBBS I can't say I'm happy, but I'm not too dissatisfied with the way things turned out. Now to push on till next year!
I...will be AWESOME. There's this sense of movement, of progression about training now, and I just love it. It spurs me to give more, to put it more, and actually seeing that effort bear fruit, just further spurs me on. I'll train and train and train, just for this sense of satisfaction, just to be able to get better and better and better. Shaofei and me promised coach today that we wouldn't stop training till the comp next year. And we're gonna train more too ^^
I...will be AWESOME. There's this sense of movement, of progression about training now, and I just love it. It spurs me to give more, to put it more, and actually seeing that effort bear fruit, just further spurs me on. I'll train and train and train, just for this sense of satisfaction, just to be able to get better and better and better. Shaofei and me promised coach today that we wouldn't stop training till the comp next year. And we're gonna train more too ^^
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
A happier person at 21. Seems pretty achievable to me. Life's good.
I failed econs. boohoohoo. I'll have to work more on it I guess? Lectures are stepping up a notch, so I'd better do more OOC prac if I want to catch up.
Fitness management. 40x bicep exercises on each arm x5 sets. I had to force myself to finish each set, and I also stepped down the weight with each set when I realized I couldn't handle it, but I managed it somehow. The feeling of achievement is really quite fulfilling, and maybe a little addictive too XD
Training today was awesome. Although I'm having some problems with getting my alignment right at the start of each training, it's pretty okay once I get it settled down. And I'm gradually getting more and more familiar with the feeling of my left arm and my right arm being relaxed the moment I fire, and it's getting really comfortable to do so. It's like: Check placing of rifle butt at shoulder, elbow down firmly, settle down, cheek down, enjoy the feeling of stability and of my body being relaxed, move down a little so the sights overlap the target, continue feeling that feeling, and pull the trigger. Follow through. Every training, I feel myself getting better, I see my grouping getting a little smaller, my misfires get a little closer to my main grouping, my action gets more and more consistent, and there's so much more room for improvement! I really can't describe exactly how good that feeling is, and how hooked I am to shooting now.
On a more serious note, I happened to talk to Sarena's mother today. She's gonna be the reserve shooter for the YOG, which is a pretty commendable achievement in and as of itself, but now she's only training 1x per week, and she may stop training soon. Apparently, her mother always wanted her to be the reserve since training as the YOG athlete is gonna be very time-consuming, and she'll have to stay at the Olympic village for 2 weeks in August, right before the prelims. It's completely understandable, and brings me back to the stark reality that shooting is and will remain secondary to academics, no two ways about it. The A's are that important. Well, my decision is to enjoy it as much as I can now, and to shore up as much training as I can, so that even if I have to stop as the A's get ever so closer, I'll be able to pick up where I left off after that. But for now, I'll just relish the time I have, and make the most of it. Let's all do that, yeah? =)
I failed econs. boohoohoo. I'll have to work more on it I guess? Lectures are stepping up a notch, so I'd better do more OOC prac if I want to catch up.
Fitness management. 40x bicep exercises on each arm x5 sets. I had to force myself to finish each set, and I also stepped down the weight with each set when I realized I couldn't handle it, but I managed it somehow. The feeling of achievement is really quite fulfilling, and maybe a little addictive too XD
Training today was awesome. Although I'm having some problems with getting my alignment right at the start of each training, it's pretty okay once I get it settled down. And I'm gradually getting more and more familiar with the feeling of my left arm and my right arm being relaxed the moment I fire, and it's getting really comfortable to do so. It's like: Check placing of rifle butt at shoulder, elbow down firmly, settle down, cheek down, enjoy the feeling of stability and of my body being relaxed, move down a little so the sights overlap the target, continue feeling that feeling, and pull the trigger. Follow through. Every training, I feel myself getting better, I see my grouping getting a little smaller, my misfires get a little closer to my main grouping, my action gets more and more consistent, and there's so much more room for improvement! I really can't describe exactly how good that feeling is, and how hooked I am to shooting now.
On a more serious note, I happened to talk to Sarena's mother today. She's gonna be the reserve shooter for the YOG, which is a pretty commendable achievement in and as of itself, but now she's only training 1x per week, and she may stop training soon. Apparently, her mother always wanted her to be the reserve since training as the YOG athlete is gonna be very time-consuming, and she'll have to stay at the Olympic village for 2 weeks in August, right before the prelims. It's completely understandable, and brings me back to the stark reality that shooting is and will remain secondary to academics, no two ways about it. The A's are that important. Well, my decision is to enjoy it as much as I can now, and to shore up as much training as I can, so that even if I have to stop as the A's get ever so closer, I'll be able to pick up where I left off after that. But for now, I'll just relish the time I have, and make the most of it. Let's all do that, yeah? =)
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