Just Tank It

Funny how being in camp drives away all thoughts of the outside world, which only slowly drift back to me; apprehensions towards a murky future, all the what-ifs and maybes, oozing into my mind just before lights out, as I 'lie flat flat' and prepare to sleep. So, just something to think about. I think that horrible pang of loneliness you get, as the days troubles leave your mind, and haven't yet grasped the tasks that await the next day, that horrible indescribable loneliness which you can't share, can't salve, as you lie alone in bed, that's probably one of the most acute symptoms of the "human condition"

A pretty exciting week, I mustn't forget that initial thrill of driving, of the power as I revved up the engine - an engine capable of pulling >70 tonnes, no less! - as I sat in the tank. The exhilaration felt as the sand clouds washed over us, the sand on my face, it's taste in my mouth, gritty and real. Anxiously driving, wanting to take the turns slowly, watching out constantly for the freaking corners of the bridge above, extending beyond the front of the main chassis, to ensure I wouldn't inadvertently chop down a tree along the dirt path. Of driving up that steep incline, unable to even see the ground beneath me, simply pumping the accelerator to go forwards, blindly, with my field of vision the wide sky above. Of driving closed hatch, my butt uncomfortably in contact with the floor, feeling every bump and the incessant vibrations running through my body as I drove, revved, changed gears and braked, as I tried to adjust myself to catch the barest glance of the bridge. Of trying to stay in the middle of the road, while Staff Elvin constantly berating me the whole damn way. Of the fulfillment of what is quite possibly the childhood dream most males share, right alongside flying a plane, driving a firetruck (what starts with "f" and ends with "uck" hehx) and the most literally up there one, being an astronaut. I mustn't forget the initial trepidation, and general reluctance to increase speed, especially with constant reminders to not over-rev the engine.

A Saturday burned; or half of it, at least, most of the time spent on that endless maintenance and the various checks. Good thing I had no plans.

And I must remember, to adapt fast, and adapt well. So far I've been passive, and somewhat making a fool of myself at my new home, can't let this go on if I still want to remain in the game, right?