Reality

Had one of the sweetest dreams I've ever had after returning from Tekong last night haha. I don't usually post song lyrics here but since it featured there, that's gotta make it special, right?

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power
Some people live just to play the game

Some people think that the physical things define what's within
And I have been there before, and that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
That promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby
Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

If I Ain't Got You - Alicia Keys

I'd love to share my tales of fail, but I've recently come to realize the importance of dignity, and why I should try to preserve mine, so I'll refrain from doing so. Suffice to say; falling sick in camp is not something I'll want to do again. Totally not worth it; have to do random saikang without any consideration for your condition, you don't get much rest, and you'll have to make up for whatever you miss.

Spent the day gained from early bookout recuperating at home; alone. It was quiet, something I haven't been able to experience for way too long; late night trips to the toilet aside (which can be freaking scary, trust me). I can't remember the last time I was able to take an afternoon nap like that one, just lying down on the cool marble floor and awakening to find that hours had passed as I dozed peacefully. Freaking refreshing. I really don't see why they have to keep us awake for at least 15 hours straight in BMT, it's really not conducive to our concentration and/or morale. Might seem like a waste of the precious time I have off Tekong but oh well, what's done is done.

1 more week. I really should be more stressed about it, but I haven't really had much time to think about it during my incarceration, what with the constant flow of events as well as my illness lately. I don't think I'm all that anxious.

Que Sera Sera.

I love that phrase.

Strangely, and this is really strange; despite all the time I spend with my section and platoon mates, and occasional conversation with my family, I crave human interaction. Interaction of the decidedly none banal sort.

I could launch straight into a tirade about how pissed off the bio answer scheme makes me; how the sheer stubbornness and unwillingness to budge even a nanometer from its narrow confines makes me feel like I'm stuck within a cage; squashed and constricted. Unfulfilled.

...Guess I just did, at least for awhile, anyway. But since I freaking know the rationale, the reasons (which while pissing off, are really valid) I don't really have the right to indignation anymore, now do I? So I shall set a resolve instead; to work the best I can within these limits, to thrive. I only hope that at the end of the year, my brain isn't so used to the confines that it can take flight no longer. Atrophied.

The main lesson I've learned, the past few weeks; is that the A's aren't about not thinking at all; nothing as simple as that. Instead, they're about putting yourself, metaphorically speaking, in the shoes of those markers thousands of kilometers away, and giving them exactly what they want. Therein lies the key to victory. In that case, don't you find it just a little terrifying that we're counting entirely on our tutors to give us some kind of indication as to what those desires are? All in pursuit of that ever so elusive 'A'

I'd better start taking some courses in long-distance mind reading. Or maybe go a step further and hire some of those Inception folks to put MY answers into those examiners' heads. Now doesn't that sound like an enticing prospect.