Anyway, it's time to sleep. There's admittedly not much to look forward to for the next year and a half, no overwhelmingly huge milestones, just the same schedule pretty much every week, so there's tedium right there. Perhaps I'll try zooming in a little, try to recapture some joy and purpose in day to day life, and see if I shan't find some measure of success there.
I always find it hard to maintain my motivation for long periods of time; it's not that I don't see the huge, over-arching picture, it's just that as a whole, it doesn't really appeal to me much in the short-term at all, and I sometimes find it hard to directly relate what I'm doing, here & now with what doing so should get me sometime in the future. Is something wrong with me?
It's always possible to do practically anything next time, cause that means we don't have to do it now. Though the future is undeniably chock-full of potential, there are some things which shouldn't be put off till later, cause otherwise there's never going to be a good time for them. I'm honestly quite sick of the term "there's always next time", makes me feel a little uneasy whenever I find myself using it, to me it rings too strongly of hollowness and unfulfilled promises. Perhaps I'd find myself better served by simply moving on, moving on, moving on.
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