I find I'm reshaping myself in NS; in ways not entirely clear to me, yet, but I can already see some of the changes reflected in the way I behave with friends and acquaintances.

I believe everyone has a right to change, to reinvent themselves as they see fit. And yet I find that as I try to go forward, and look towards the future; I find myself hindered by the past. Things I've done, decisions I've made, that have somewhat irrevocably cemented people's perceptions of me, or have on a deeper level affected the way I perceive and consequently carry myself. Baggage.



Despite this belief, I find myself more than a little cynical of whether people really can change. They may be exceedingly vocal about it; or come up with a laundry list of reasons for their change; but I've grown too skeptical about such declarations. In general, I don't believe in large, abrupt changes that seemingly occur in the snap of the fingers. These changes have to occur at a fundamental level; building up from deep within. They don't burst to the surface in their full glory but rather steadily bubble up, bit by bit; and are all the more beautiful for that as you see the change express itself before your eyes. They require effort; constant reflection and introspection. It's all too easy to say that you've changed only to steadily regress.

So, I guess time will tell.