The Monday after I posted that post, I was called up to S1s office and told, without much fanfare that I was approved to disrupt for my studies at NTU. It's been quite a rush, signing all the relevant documents as well as agreeing to extend my service by 212 days when I come back so that I can fulfill the minimum 1 year serving as an MO, quite painful considering how much time I'm losing to NS versus my peers, but I was never going to come out on top in that aspect anyway, so I'm not complaining too much. Amidst the application for FFIs, serving my last COS (and getting pranked by Justin, REC Jameson Lee and 1SG Sundram Murugan lol, felt like dao-ing the call but I had a duty to perform), going down to the medical centre for my blood test, hasty attempts to help my section wrap up some outstanding work while also having to sort through my stash of stuff in my locker to pack my duffel bag and ready myself to leave, I've barely had time to catch my breath - not that I'd want to amidst the prevailing haze - not to mention really think about how I feel about all this.I know that most of it is nostalgia, that feeling you get when you know you'll never have anything quite like you had before, of having to move on from something that's familiar, not necessarily good and enjoyable all the time, but comfortable. I suppose I won't be able to be with my section anymore, and the feeling was quite intense, as I ran about settling my stuff last week, and when I got back there was this irrevocable distance I felt between us, they're already moving on, mentally ready to carry on without me, so where does that leave me, exactly? All set to carry on my own little tangent, that's simply the nature of meetings and partings, isn't it? I'll probably never get to touch a tank, let alone operate the L2-AVLB again, barring anything absolutely catastrophic. I'm not complaining, I hardly could, when I've been so unbelievably fortunate, but I've always been one who's been bad at moving on. (Or, I fear sometimes, altogether too good, too quick too adept at amputating that which feels dear to me, casting it aside, phantom limbs ache now and then)

It all feels so heartless, doesn't it? That life could go on much as before, we meet new people, have new experiences, move onwards smile on face with nary a glance backwards for those we've left behind. It's fair though, everyone carries on eventually, some sooner, some later, but I'd like to think that in our heart of hearts we all bear fragments of time spent together, moments locked in time we return to from time to time, and maybe that's enough to keep us going.

I've had an extended weekend clearing my remaining off and such; most of it spent at home by virtue of the haze, mostly surfing the net haha. While burning time on Youtube I decided to watch something apart from Dota2 replays, and it's hard, for me at least, because I find that the suggestions based on what you're already subscribed too and have watched recently actually seek to restrict me to such a small swathe of the content actually available. In a bid to escape this profiling, I ended up randomly typing keywords into the search bar and found myself at the Tested.com channel. So what drew me to it is this: Apart from loads of cool-ish tech related stuff, it also has interviews and such with Jamie and Adam of Mythbusters, which/who I'm a total fanboy off haha. No idea whether it's a testament to how bored I've been, but I've been watching ALOT of their videos. They're wonderful people. I actually spent 1/2 an hour watching Adam building a box. Seriously. Hmm I think I'll embed it here:

What held my fascination about this was him bringing us through the entire process, from conception to final product, and well basically observing how meticulous he is with even the smallest detail. These guys are pros in the special effects industry, years of experience, and it shows in the execution and the way he tackled it. Damn good way to spend 30 mins if your opp costs are pretty low hehe.

And for further inspiration:

A speech he gave at Maker Faire 2012. I don't know how relevant this could be to most of us, in what we want to do, but it's something I'd recommend anyway. 15.30 onwards where he speaks about his "Manifesto" is particularly inspiring. I've written before of my fascination with the concept of "Makers" put forth by Orson Scott Card in the Tales of Alvin Maker series, and he just seems like the epitome of that. And maybe we may not possess the technical know-how and skills to do things on the level he does, we may never, but each time we try to put things together in ways they haven't been before, or even if they have been done before, doing it for ourselves, or in a more figurative sense, come up with new ideas and concepts which we're fascinated with and working on and developing them, we're makers in our own right.

"The maker is the one who is part of what he makes"

I can't admit that I know where all this leads to, just wanted to get it out there. It's been a restful prolonged weekend, some good chilling with JAM for dinner and Acid Bar, I made a trip down to Bishan the other day to get my photo taken for matriculation (another pain but a crucial step forward) and borrowed some books too, a couple about Machiavelli, Kant, the case for pessimism and Dan Brown. Wonder whether I'll be able to finish them before school starts haha.