Some people will never be happy. I guess never is probably too harsh a term to use but that's just the way it seems to me at times. It's a personal choice, I suppose, a way you choose to look at things, it's just unfortunate when you realize that no matter how much you attempt to do for someone, it's what you don't that you'll be remembered for, and for others it's just an endless void that will never be filled, no matter how much you attempt to throw into it.

Or perhaps it's just an unrealistic expectation on our part that every action we do, deed we commit, should have some kind of meaning to their recipient, when really, we have a tendency to mentally amplify the significance of what we do. It's also why I really admire those who can set out, day after day, to attempt to do something, with little perceptible effects - immediate effects. In the end, thinking about it, it's all about the mentality with which we approach things, a value judgement is made, and that's about it. Worth is very much in the eye of the beholder.

The only danger, peril that I do not wish to subject myself to, is letting myself veer, in my times of darkness, to nihilism, that seductively attractive prospect, there is that in me, that much I am aware, but it's a choice, afterall, so I choose not to.

Not the most clear-headed post after so long, my apologies, but we'll just have to see how things go from here :) Just rest assured, dear friends, that ^ is not an act of passive-aggroness, just something that's kinda been in my head for a long while, and happened to resurface, somehow