That aside, it somehow feels like uni, and hall life as an extension of it, is teaching me how to be more generous, to accept the kindness of others and to open up as well. I can't say how touched I felt when Jean brought out a cake during our TBL group BBQ at her house last week, or when Steph and Jing Wen left a little something in my shoe rack for me, and when my "angel" got a small Starbucks cake delivered to me via proxy later that night too. It really made me realize how hardened I'd let myself become, a little cynical at times, which probably won't do me any good when I'm trying to go out to help people. I guess in part it's also because I'm not really used to receiving things from people all too often, to the point where I feel a little strange when people are being "too nice", you start to wonder about what they're really up to, or just a little weird-ed out. Idk. It's something different, something I'm not used to, which perhaps says more about me than them, and maybe it's a chance for me to learn and grow as a person too.
Now, where to go from here?
The previous week was polyclinic week, we went down to BBK Polyclinic to have a look at how the healthcare system operates, I'll be going down to TTSH next week as well, and also to speak to patients and staff there, not to actually delve into their illnesses and collect case notes but rather to get a feel for interacting with them, and to try to see things from their perspective, rather than being confined to seeing healthcare from solely a healthcare professional's one. Though I had my reservations about it initially, thinking that it'd be awkward, that I wouldn't know how to approach a patient, it actually turned out to be a surprisingly enjoyable experience. And I really did feel very privileged that upon hearing that I was a medical student (and seeing me in a white coat, which I'll admit does confer some undeniable legitimacy to the thing) most (if not all of them) were willing to spare me a few minutes of their time - even longer, in some cases where we just had a nice chat - to share a little about their conditions pretty openly and warmly, and well, were very willing to help us with whatever questions we had. And in return it was also impressed upon us that this trust had to be reciprocated with an awareness of our responsibility in not betraying that trust. Professional standards of practice and all that that have to be observed from day one even as a student. We traced the processes within the polyclinic, from registration to consult to payment, it's quite fascinating how the volume of patients is channeled. Having had a severely minimal exposure to the public healthcare system (or any healthcare, for the matter) prior to this, it was a real eye-opener. All that aside, polyclinic week also constituted a very welcome break from the cycle of mugging iLectures for TBL, doing practicals, practical results analysis followed by preparing for the next TBL again. We had a small BBQ at Jean's house, she's an amazing host, and it was quite interesting how the "feel" of her house really seems to reflect her personality, a function of upbringing perhaps? It was fun, just chilling and talking cock, and helped to relieve some tension which I hadn't even realized I had built up inside me. I managed to clock in some shooting training too, my form's starting to get better, and the feeling's starting to come back, just a little
My best card so far, I shouldn't be too happy about this but I am, which is perhaps why I tend not to perform so well :/
I don't even recall what I was up to the rest of that week, were there any hall events? I honestly have no idea, so I'll leave it at that.
Went out with JAM that Saturday, a pretty common thing, except overshadowed, for me at least, by the realization that pretty soon, or soon enough, we'll be pretty much scattered around the globe, with Merv having gotten accepted to Australia (gratz!), Amos going off to UPenn next year (still loads of time there) and Jack flying off to London today. It really brings to mind how much of a state of transition we're all in, with my future having gradually come into focus after getting into LKC, and as for the rest, paths unfolding before them with varying degrees of certainty, as we prepare ourselves to move on to another stage of life. Nothing is ever certain, only the fact that things will never be quite the same. Change is the only constant.
Off to the airport in awhile for the send off, TBC later.
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