It's such a joy to reminisce and roll back the clock, even if it's only for a short while. It's reassuring that even though so much has changed; eyes that I can't bring myself to look straight into, words that I can't quite conceive myself saying, thoughts that maybe I shouldn't be thinking, I'm not so different that I can't appreciate those times all over again with a smile on my face.

While the veneer of happiness helps to make things bearable, it wears thin and sometimes I feel so lost (metaphorically of course) and there's no simple way to explain it. It's not very justified; life isn't that bad, but the feeling lingers, a horrible stench that just refuses to go away despite the most vigorous attempts at washing, always threatening to rise to the surface during those quiet moments.

Will you understand?

Of course not!

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.